In an email conversation with my dad this morning, he reminded me of a time that was tough in my mom’s life (physically at least). She had all three of us by C-section and shortly after my little brother was born she had to have her gall bladder removed! This was back when they didn’t do the tiny little belly button incisions. She was hurting. My grandmother, her mother-in-law, told her during that time, “When you’re hurting, somebody needs you.” This took my mom aback. Someone needs me? I’m hurting here! I’m the one who just had two surgeries almost back to back. Nonetheless, during my mom’s hospital stay she encountered another patient, a lady who was hurting in her heart, not just her body. God used Mom to encourage and bless that lady. It may not have happened if Mom’s heart hadn’t been opened to the possibility by grandma’s wise words.
Wow – this is good truth! One of the enemy’s biggest tactics to mess me up is self-pity and self-absorption. There’s no better way to counter that attack, no better way to get your mind off of yourself and your hurts than to look for someone who needs you, someone you can bless or encourage or serve.
It seems that getting absorbed in ourselves and our pain actually multiplies the pain. What seems to be a help becomes a hindrance.
We’re going through some refining big-time these days, my family and my church family. We’ve got to lean into it, even when it hurts, because it’s for our good. Then we need to realize that it’s not only for our good, but so we can be better at reaching to people who don’t know God or His love yet. It’s not about us.
So I say to the Klotz family and to the New Life family, “When you’re hurting, somebody needs you.” Look outwardly, strain your necks and hearts to see who you can love on and encourage today, lean into the refining but then keep looking at God and the purpose of it all: to make us more like Him so we can bring more of his lost kids back to Him.
And thanks, Grandma.
There’s someone in our family who over the last few years has drifted away and become very quiet, going through some tough times. I admit, we didn’t try hard enough to stay in touch, to care, to reach out during those times. I’m ashamed of that. I’ve asked forgiveness for that from this person but am not making much headway. In the last year or so we’ve tried harder to get in touch, send emails, call, reach out, getting no response. I’ve had dreams in which our family and this person are reunited and reconcile all the differences. I’m hoping that’s one of those dreams that becomes a “deja vu” moment later in life. You know when you have a deja vu moment and think “I swear I’ve dreamed this before.” Does that happen to you?
I think I eventually convinced her that although she didn’t know at the age of 4 what she would need to know 15-20 years down the road it was okay. She wasn’t supposed to. It would come later. I tried to help her see that growing up was fun and good, that she would like it and that it’s just what happens naturally to all of us.
This morning I had the thought that if we could get a higher altitude view of life, especially in the moments when we’re mired down in the weeds or mud of a tough circumstance, it would make it easier to go on. Imagine walking through a late summer corn field when the corn’s taller than you are, following someone who is cutting a path or design in the field. From the ground’s perspective it would all look very much the same: rustling rows of green corn stalks as far as the eye could see. If you could fly up above the field and look down, however, you’d see the design taking shape. You might even have an “Aha!” moment, smiling and saying, “I get it now.”
It’s good to get away but always good to get home. However, as we were getting ready for bed last night I found myself feeling grumpy, out of sorts. I asked myself why. We just had a great week, learned lots of good things, had nice time away together. What do I have to be grumpy about? I’ve been intentionally trying to have a positive, faith-filled attitude about everything, but some emotion I’ve been pushing down bobbed up to the surface. As I lay down to go to sleep, in my head I told God, “It’s not fair, God. 
Time for an emptying of this too-full bucket of thoughts I call my brain.
Over the two years we worked together he became a really good friend. He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls. One night they had us over for dinner. We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn. It was such a lovely night. I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary. 
Along the Narrow Path 