Tag Archives: God

Humbled, happy heart

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I sat there listening to her sing her heart in phrases and heard God talk to me, as well, “I’m showing you again that I have the power to influence this young lady’s heart.  I made her, you know.  I have planted more in her than you could dream of or design.  As precious as you are to me, you are not the author of this young one’s soul and faith.  I Am.”

Thank you, God, and forgive me for doubting, worrying or trying to orchestrate.  Thank you for hearing my deepest heart prayers for her (and for all my daughters) – that You would draw her near, that You would comfort her and give her the strength to surrender to you.   You can handle the angry cries, the stubborn thoughts, the questions and more.  You keep painting beauty over those things and then giving me glimpses of this tough and tender work of art that is my daughter.

How I’ve underestimated all my girls at times, in many ways.  Don’t let me do it any more.  Why would I think they are any less complicated, any less deep thinkers and ponderers, any less in tune with God than I am?  Why would I not think You talk to them the way You do me, that You relish every moment they sit with you, read Your word, sing songs to You?  I’m simply a few years farther down the path, but we’re on the same path following You, “I Am”, our incredible Savior and Creator.

We harmonized together on some familiar tunes and I was drawn into worship as I sat in sleepy comfort.  You were sitting right there, Jesus.  The only thing I can do is bow down in my heart, my thankful, peace-filled, humbled heart.

This song will hold more meaning for me from now on:

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I’ll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you        (© Hillsong United)

Getting healthier after some turmoil last year when pastor left. Facility is really nice and new. Upward basketball – 200+ kids. Pretty good sense of mission, awareness of the need to be missional. Recently changed to a governance leadership structure – significant tool for next pastor.

 

Still some unresolved longstanding, systemic unhealthy conflict. Mortgage – income that comes in with which they pay the mortgage is usually about $4000 a month short. They use cash reserves right now from the sale of their old building to pay the shortfall but that won’t last forever. Still some division from the conflict last year that is healing but isn’t over.

A quick look back, then we face the dawn

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I believe in pressing forward and in living in this day but once in a while it’s good to take a quick look back to see how far we’ve come and remember what we learned.  A friend of mine said today that looking toward this new year is like throwing out a fishing line, we wait and watch to see what we’ll reel in, not knowing, but hoping.  I joked that it’s probably good we can’t see all that we’re going to “reel in” this coming year and that I’m glad Jesus is there to help us if we have to pull in something really heavy or menacing.  Today I’ve been thinking some about the lessons I caught in 2010.  Some of them were whoppers: Continue reading →

‘Tis the time to talk of new beginnings

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My youngest says I tweet too much but hey, that’s what twitter is for right?  And there are plenty of people who tweet more often than I do.  So I told her, “If you don’t want to read all my tweets then just don’t follow me anymore” to which she replied, “Okay, I won’t”.  Well, fine.  I follow several pastors and other bloggers that offer food for thought, encouraging words, and more.  I also follow people like Conan O’Brien and Jim Gaffigan, not quite as edifying but good for some laughs.  It’s fun.

One of the tweeters I follow is called “ChatBible” from the UK.  He tweeted today about new beginnings, which only seems fitting since it’s the start of the new year:  Noah (Gen 9) Ruth (Ruth 1) Peter (Jn 21) and Paul (Acts 9). Which brings most hope…& why? Continue reading →

To Inifinity and Beyond

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Do you ever feel afraid when you think about going to heaven?  That’s a weird question, I know.  I woke this morning thinking not so much about heaven exactly, as about eternity, about what happens when we die, about what it could be like to be somewhere forever…and ever.  It may seem crazy to you but whenever I start thinking about that I begin to feel anxious.  I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s something my mind can’t grasp or understand.   After all, I have no frame of reference.  Everything in my life, and in this world, has a beginning and end.  I was conceived and began as a cluster of cells multiplying and growing (a pretty huge miracle in itself).  When my time has come, I will die and my heart will stop beating, my brain stop processing and thinking, and my physical body will give out.  Each day has a beginning (the sun comes up) and an end (the sun goes down and the moon and stars appear).  I wake and sleep.  There are physical boundaries to my home, my town, my country, and my world.  Once into space, however, it starts to become mind-boggling since there is no edge to the universe.  Where does it end, if it ends and if it does, what’s on the outside of it?  OH!  I tell myself to just stop thinking about it, to stop trying to comprehend how it could be.  The truth is, there is no way we can see the edge or end of the universe, and from what I’ve heard it keeps spreading, so infinity seems to be reality.

If you’re still reading this rambling post, bully for you!   Continue reading →

His Indescribable Gift

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3 days ’til Christmas…if you have children in your house I’m sure they have made you aware of this and are counting down the days and even hours until Christmas morning.  Many of them will be so excited to see the surprises waiting for them under the tree that they won’t be able to sleep the night before.  Gifts have been a big part of celebrating Christmas for centuries.

Did that start because of the gifts the wise men gave Jesus, Mary and Joseph when they finally arrived?  Did the tradition become more pronounced because of the original Saint Nicholas who gave anonymous gifts to needy people by dropping small bags of coins or other treasures down their chimneys?  It actually was started by God, the original and best gift giver of all time.  He offered His Son, out of love, and continues to give good gifts to his children.  He is the most generous, creative, and recklessly lavish giver.

Imagine your boss left gifts for you and all your co-workers – hefty cash bonuses for a year’s work well done.  Imagine that you hadn’t gotten the memo Continue reading →

No Hierarchy of Servants

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My parents were celebrated Sunday by the church they’ve pastored for the last six years.  They’re retiring not only from that pastorate but from more than 43 years of ministry all over the place.  It was a special day and as I watched and listened to what people shared and thought about how God has used them throughout all that time I was thankful, amazed and proud.   It was no rose-lined path they walked even though there definitely were beautiful places here and there.  They have faced their share of trouble, as we all do.  My dad sank into a deep depression and burnout when I was about 21.  He took some time away and returned ready to share some of the issues he was wrestling with, including expectations others had for his life.  His parents, my grandparents, were missionaries and somehow while growing up my dad perceived there is a hierarchy of servants when it comes to ministry for Jesus.  If you’re committed to Christ you’ll serve in a church, if you’re extra committed you’ll be a pastor, and if you’re über committed Continue reading →

If he only knew

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After Jesus was born in Bethlehem village, Judah territory— this was during Herod’s kingship—a band of scholars arrived in Jerusalem from the East. They asked around, “Where can we find and pay homage to the newborn King of the Jews? We observed a star in the eastern sky that signaled his birth. We’re on pilgrimage to worship him.  “When word of their inquiry got to Herod, he was terrified…  Matthew 2:1-4 The Msg

King Herod was a little paranoid, to say the least.  His reaction to the news that a new king was born was defensiveness, fear and eventually even murder.  He asked his advisors what the prophecy said about where the little one would be born, but maybe he should have asked them more about the prophecies.  He would have heard how this baby would grow to be the Messiah, to save people from their sins and bring deliverance.  It was going to be a really good thing, not a threat.  Jesus was not going to grow up and organize a coup to overthrow Herod.  If Herod only knew, the new king Jesus could have saved him, too.

Some people may look at Christians and think we’re a silly bunch allowing Jesus to be Lord of our lives, allowing someone else to be in control, living within boundaries set by God.  If they only knew that God’s boundaries are set in love, that He is in control anyway so we might as well acknowledge that, and having Him lead gives us hope and purpose.  Some think of God as a dictator or puppet-master and resist Him.  Some feel threatened when they’re given the opportunity to join God’s family.  If they only knew!   God is for them, not against them.

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us?  Romans 8:31-38 The Msg

What now?

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It seems we have many opportunities every day to ask this question.   We’re faced with an opportunity, a challenge, a risk, a leap of faith, an open door and we must ask ourselves…what now?  What will I do with what’s been given to me?  We make these decisions all day long every day, sometimes without really thinking about it.  It could be something trivial like discovering there is no more coffee when you go to the kitchen in the morning.  What now?  Have a hissy fit or make some tea?  It may be something a little more weighty like hearing about a friend who is ill and has a young family to take care of.  What now?  Go take them some food and babysit their kids, or think to yourself “someone else will help them”?  What if your decision affects lots of other people?  That adds even more weight still.   I think of some well-known leaders in history who made decisions that affected entire countries like Martin Luther King, Jr. who knew the hostilities that flared up when racial equality was championed.  As a passion to help bring about change rose up in him he had to ask himself, “What now?”  He decided to face hatred, risk injury or worse, and brave fierce opposition because the outcome he dreamed of was worth the cost.

Jesus said we should count the cost before we decide to follow Him.  He also said He could guarantee there would be trouble along the way.  It costs to follow Him and live for Him, but it’s worth every bead of sweat, every tear, every desperate prayer, every effort to keep walking forward in faith.  Along the way there are times when we see more of Him and it blows us away.  It spurs us on, energizes and impels us.  Those glimpses of his power, love and glory restore us and bring healing.  When that happens we ask ourselves, “what now?”  Do I tell someone else about this? Continue reading →

Lean In

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Lean in for a hug, or even a kiss.  Lean in to smell something delicious.  Lean in to hear something more clearly.  Lean in to be part of the group and see what’s happening.  Lean in to the huddle to hear the next play.  Lean in and over your baby’s bed to watch them peacefully sleeping.  Lean in to just be near someone.

Sometimes instead we lean out…maybe because something or someone smells bad.  Lean out because you feel rejected or your opinion isn’t respected.  Lean out because something or someone has hurt you and you want to back away.  Lean out because leaning in is taking too much effort.  Lean out because you’re afraid to be too close.  Lean out because the uncertainty of what’s next is too nerve-wracking and leaning out seems easier.

My sister shared wise words with me a long time ago from a book she read about marriage: always lean into your spouse, no matter what was happening.  Lean into each other and into God.  That image has been tucked away in my heart and mind ever since and has helped me many times.

John and I have mostly been leaning in toward each other throughout our marriage.  There have been moments, of course, when we forget or our pride gets in the way and we back off out of feeling offended or stubborn or any other childish attitude overtakes us for a little while.  There is always this ache inside of me, however, to be on the same page with him again and to be close.    I picture us standing toe to toe, facing one another, holding both of eachother’s hands.  How much easier to stand when we’re both leaning in and holding each other.  I don’t like the feeling of either one of us leaning out and away from each other or letting go of one or both hands.  It throws us off kilter and takes a little more effort to lean back in and become close again.  It causes us to feel more alone.  This morning we leaned in again, closer to one another and closer to God…straining to hear His voice, to understand each other’s perspective, to vent and process.  It always makes our relationship better, even if leaning in hurts at first or is a little scary because you’re not sure how the other will react or respond.  When we lean in, we’re stronger and less susceptible to being taken down by an enemy.

As I think about Mary and Joseph and the first part of the Christmas story we’re all so familiar with, I think of how Joseph had to make a choice to lean out or lean in Continue reading →

Speaking words of wisdom, “let it be”

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I’ve had Mary on my mind these last few days.  I’m following the Christmas story as told in pieces on twitter and facebook by some ministries in England who collaborated on a project called “The Natwivity.” They are posting short, 1-2 sentence thoughts from different characters in the story, giving lots of fresh perspective with a modern feel and “ponder fodder” as I like to call thought-provoking things.  If Joseph and Mary would tweet, what would they say?  It may seem silly, but it has moved me a few times already.  Sure, culture is different here than it was in those days in Nazareth, but people are people and I’m sure teens still had the same emotional reactions and deep questions about things that they do today.  (The latest tweet from Mary this morning:  “Don’t think I can do this. Hands are still shaking. Want to see Joseph so bad but can’t tell him. That’ll be the end of us…”)

What was it really like for Mary?  To start off, how would it be to suddenly be face to face with an ANGEL?  That in itself would be enough to try to absorb for a few months in my opinion.  Not only did she receive a message from an angel unexpectedly standing in her very own room, the message he had for her was life-changing in the truest sense of those words.

Did she have time to think about all the possible ramifications of saying “yes” to this most holy invitation?  Continue reading →