Tag Archives: God

I hope God’s not picky

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That’s what a bumper sticker on the car in front of me this morning said.  My heart went out to whoever is thinking and/or wondering that.  Maybe it’s just to be funny but it also sounds like someone who wonders if they’re good enough to get God’s attention.  Is God picky?

If you read about Jesus in the Bible you can clearly see that as far as interacting with and accepting people Jesus was not picky.  In fact, according to some of the religious people of His day He wasn’t picky enough. Continue reading →

On the Receiving End

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I once had a friend who was gifted at giving.  She was immensely creative and would put lots of thought and time into the gifts she gave others.  Each year all of the ladies at church hoped she would draw their name for “secret sisters” because they knew fun and imaginative surprises would be coming their way.

There was only one problem:  she couldn’t receive gifts well.  It seemed when someone tried to do something for her she felt compelled to reciprocate right away, or even almost refuse saying “you don’t have to do that.”  Her responses popped the balloon of joy and love of the one trying to do something for her.  It was frustrating!  She could give but not receive.  It almost felt like a one-sided game of catch where someone throws a ball at you over and over but never let’s you throw one back. No fun.

This morning in my quiet time I was reminded that I usually act like my relationship with God is solely my doing or responsibility.  I must give and do and be for Him to please Him and show how much I love him by what I do, when He wants to love and give to me, too, and I need to receive.  I need to remember that I wouldn’t even have a relationship with Him if He hadn’t invited me and called me to Him.  He’s the initiator.  He loved me first. 

It seems a fine line to walk because the Bible talks about seeking God intentionally but also talks about accepting the gift of grace and an eternal kingdom as willingly and eagerly as a child. 

Living in relationship with my heavenly Father is part actively getting to know Him and loving Him, part sitting expectantly at His feet with open hands waiting to gladly receive something good from Him.  The depth and quality of our love and closeness doesn’t depend just on me. I’m so thankful for that!  Today I’m sitting, smiling, waiting on the receiving end.

Worth the Wait

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Why is it so hard to wait?  Is it because it’s hard for us to stop doing things and just be still?  It is because we’re not in control and have to rely on someone else to respond, do something or fulfill a request?  What are we in a hurry to do or where are we in a rush to go?

I’m a pretty patient person in most circumstances, but it’s still sometimes hard for me to wait.  I got lots of practice in the last few years and don’t want to forget the lessons I learned – lessons about perseverance, trust, sacrifices of praise, and surrender.

The Bible has much to say about waiting on God and all the good that can result.  Here are just some of the blessings that come from waiting on God:

  • Help – Psalm 40:1
  • Rescue – Psalm 59:9
  • Victory – Psalm 62:1
  • Answers – Psalm 38:9
  • God will work things out for those who wait – Isaiah 64:4
  • Fresh, renewed strength – Isaiah 40:31
  • Receive what God has promised – Hebrews 6:15, Romans 15:4
  • Justice – Job 35:14
  • Reward – Luke 12:37
  • Hope – Romans 8:25
  • God is good to those who wait – Lamentations 3:25-26
  • Awareness of God’s presence – Psalm 37:7

There are plenty of things we can do while we wait:  thank God for things and people and more, praise Him, talk about Him, read His word, think about Him, and sometimes just be completely quiet, letting our minds and hearts be at peace.

I like these lyrics from a song by Shane Barnard:

i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet’s where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time’s from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

Waiting is difficult because we are impatient people.  We want results and we want them now.  I find I even have this mentality sometimes when I sit down to have quiet time with God.  I want to hear him right away, I want a feeling or sensation of His presence and I forget that sometimes I just need to be patient.  I find that it is always worth the wait.

Where does my help come from?

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I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord…  Psalm 121:1-2

Fear comes in all sorts of packages and at all kinds of different times.  I’m afraid I’m a bit of a worrier.  I don’t want to be and it’s embarrassing to admit that, but it’s true.  That worry is actually fear in disguise.

I’m the type of person who really wants to know what’s going to happen, how and when.  I try to be spontaneous but my nature is most comfortable in structure, knowing what’s expected of me, having a plan – you know.

Living a life with Jesus requires me to step out of that comfortable place a lot.  Living in general causes me to step out.  Continue reading →

I hear Him singing

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There have been many times in this past year when I couldn’t really hear it…times when I almost scoffed at the thought of him singing at all.  Every now and then I thought I heard it, like a brief break in dark, gray clouds that reveals a small patch of blue sky and sunshine that is soon covered by the heavy grayness again.

Sometimes the noise of the wind gusting around me was so loud the melody was faint and far away as I strained to hear it, needing some reassurance or direction.  Sometimes I found myself feeling isolated in a wide and desolate place where the silence is deafening and terrifying.  I asked Him in those difficult moments, “Do you really still delight in me?  Have you forgotten where I am?”

I have to admit there have been times I was angry with Him so I sat down and put my fingers in my ears.  I’m not proud of that, but it’s true.  I was having a hard time believing his song.

He’s proven to me over and over that He never stops singing the song of his unconditional, faithful, and real love.  Nothing lifts my heart and lightens the weight of burdens on my back like the sound of the breathtaking, soaring melody of God’s song as He sings it over me.  When I do hear it, I’m reminded of my place in his family and his heart.  I’m reminded of the undeserved grace He’s given me.  I’m reminded of all that I should be thankful for.

In Zephaniah 3:17 it says,

For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

In these last few weeks I’ve heard Him clearly – loud, triumphant, a fierce love in His voice that is unmistakable.  It bowls me over and then lifts me up.  He really is delighted to lavishly love us and take care of us, to save us.  He really does sing over our lives without ceasing, sometimes faintly and tenderly, sometimes strong.

I hear Him singing…

Jealous God

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I remember hearing years ago about Oprah’s turning away from mainline Christian faith into her confusing mixture of new age beliefs.  She was sitting in church and heard the preacher say something about God being a jealous God.  She thought to herself that if God was jealous of her, what kind of insecure god is that?  She ventured away from traditional views of God and into a nebulous tangle of self-deifying thinking.

I think she misunderstood.  I agree that the word jealous usually has negative connotations.  I was taught growing up that it’s not good to be jealous.  Someone should have told Oprah that God isn’t jealous of her as if He wants to be her, He is jealous of her attention.  He wants her heart and life to be centered on Him and not other things or people.

I caught a glimpse of what this means tonight.  I have these revelations in the oddest places in the strangest timing sometimes.  I was standing in a concert enjoying beautiful, awesome worship music with thousands of other enthusiastic people when I got clearer understanding about this.

I have some hurt over people in my life who have held me at arm’s length or refused my initiations at love or interaction.  When I see them react positively to others and not to me, I feel jealous.  I want that attention and love.  I felt God say that is how He has felt with me lately.

I have allowed myself to get caught up in busyness for a while now.  I’ve been restless and my prayer times have been short and kind of perfunctory.  I know that what I need and really want most is that nearness to God but I keep allowing other things take my attention and time away.  I don’t understand why I do it either and have felt very frustrated with myself.

Tonight I heard God tell me that He’s a jealous God and He wants my attention.  He doesn’t want me to hold Him at arm’s length, saying “later, God” or “I need to do this first” or “I want to give my attention to this instead.”

Can He forgive me for the fourteen-millionth time?  He said “Yes.”

Tonight at the concert Louie Giglio reminded us that extravagant worship happens when we are faced with God’s extravagant grace.  I fully agree.  When I remember my place and what God has done for me, His mercy and patience extended to me over and over again, the only reaction I can give with full sincerity is thankfulness and worship.

I prayed that the other relationship I long to have restored will be someday, but also that I will be thankful I have a jealous God who even notices I’m alive, much less wants me to spend time with Him and live in close relationship with Him.

‘Til the very end

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The goodbyes began this week.  It seems as though we’re walking in between waving farewell to friends here and waving hello to friends ahead.  It’s usually a good thing if that in between period doesn’t last too long.  More than anything, more than sadness, I feel deeply thankful for the connections we’ve made here knowing I don’t have to break any of them.  I get to keep the friends I’ve made and take them along with me in my heart as I meet new ones.

One of my goodbyes will be to my 96, almost 97, year old grandmother Retha.  She lives in a nursing home in Anderson and I went by to visit her today.  Luckily she was up in her wheelchair instead of lying in bed, so I took her down the hall to a nice, open room with big windows letting in the sunshine.  We sat facing each other and catching up.  Grandma does remarkably well considering her age.  She was really happy when I told her John has a pastorate now and we have a good place to go live and serve.  She was also happy it’s not terribly far away.

A good friend of mine, who has been friends with my grandmother for much longer, is a lady named Ann Smith.  Ann radiates joy and life out of her relationship with Jesus, even now in her eighties.  The last time I saw her she gave me a Bible verse to read to my grandma.  I shared it with grandma today.  It’s Isaiah 46:3-4: Continue reading →

You are more

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define (verb) – 1. to state precisely the meaning of   2. to describe the nature, properties, or essential qualities of   3. to determine the boundary of extent of

Now that it’s been over seven years since I was declared cancer-free, not as many of my current friends know I’m a breast cancer survivor.  It was a big, glaring part of my life in 2003 when I was diagnosed and for several years afterward but then began to fade from the forefront of my thoughts.

I received lots of thoughtful and encouraging notes and cards from friends during my recovery from surgery but one that still stands out in my mind was from a friend I hadn’t heard from in years.  This friend had also battled cancer so her words carried extra weight.  The phrase she wrote that stood out like neon lights was Continue reading →

A gooder good?

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I heard it a few times throughout the weekend, God telling me that my definition of “good” wasn’t good enough.  I feel like He has been showing me and wants to keep showing me a deeper good than I’ve known in the past.  A different good.  A good not based on warm fuzzies or happy emotion, but on truth and purpose.  A good based on the peace and profound satisfaction that comes from knowing you’re in the place where the way God made you fits the need before you….just right.  No square pegs in round holes here.   Happiness is not necessarily the manifestation of this type of good, not always anyway.

I heard Him telling me most clearly as I sat in the room where the church council and leaders had gathered to hear John’s philosophy of ministry and ask him questions.  Throughout the day I had felt awkward at times, a little out-of-place at times, the typical stuff that happens when you’re in a group of complete strangers Continue reading →

Church is like Zumba

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My husband and daughters bought me the most thoughtful gift for Christmas.  They went above and beyond what we all agreed to do, chipped in and got me a set of Zumba DVDs because they know I love it so much.  I hadn’t been able to go to class for several months.  I’ve done a few of the workouts and they’re great, the guy who came up with it is one of the teachers and he’s a lot of fun.  I’m really glad to have them because if I can’t go to class, I can still shake the blues and chub away in our own family room.  Thanks to a surprise from a few of my Zumba buddies, I now have some free classes to use up so I went back this week, Tuesday and tonight.  I have to admit that nothing beats dancing off calories with about 125 other women in a big room with really loud music and fun live teachers.  Just being there with all of them energizes me.  No one is a pro.  Everyone is sweaty.  We all want to have fun, get fit and burn fat.  It’s awesome.

It got me thinking – that’s why I love church.  Not for sweat and burning fat, but for the camaraderie, the energy from being with others who are after the same thing, who love the same God, who want to be healthy and whole not only in their bodies, but mind and soul.  I’ve heard people say they don’t need church.   Continue reading →