Almost lost the peewee

I think just about everyone has a story about getting lost.  The scariest and most memorable for our family happened when we lived in New Mexico.  We had taken the girls to the mall and were hanging out a little while in “Tilt”, an arcade.  The girls must have been 2, 4 and 5.  The arcade was one of those that was the size of a store and rather dark filled with all kinds of video games, skeeball, basketball, riding games, etc.  Winning tickets was the goal so we split up and took the girls around to try different games.  I don’t know how or when it happened, but I thought John had Kristine and he thought I had her.  After watching Kimmi play a whack-a-mole game I looked to see where Kristine was.  She wasn’t with us so I looked down the way to where John and Kaitlin were playing.  I didn’t see her there either.  I called out to John and sure enough, he didn’t have her.  I began to panic.  We started calling out her name and rushing around the arcade, looking behind and around all the games, asking anyone we saw if they had seen our little girl.  No one had.  The staff hadn’t seen her but said they’d call security.  All of the sudden nothing mattered but finding her.  I didn’t care who heard me shouting her name or saw me racing around trying to find her.  Then John said, “I’m going out into the mall to see if I can find her.  You stay here.”  So Kimmi, Kaitlin and I knelt down right there in the arcade and prayed.  “God, please.  Please.  Don’t let anything happen to Kristine.  Please help John know where to go.  Please help us find her!”  I couldn’t even cry I was so scared, Continue reading

More than meets the eye

I must warn you upfront that this post is kind of rambly and disjointed.  Okay, read on if you like.

We all make judgments about other people all the time, in split seconds.  Most of the time I think we base our judgments on the way they look, sound, act or smell.  Unfortunately, I think a lot of our judgments are critical because so much of our thought-life is driven by pride, even when we are doing our best to follow Jesus and live humbly.  I catch myself thinking critical thoughts a lot.  Probably need to take that one to God on my knees a little more fervently.  I don’t like thinking those thoughts and sure don’t want someone thinking them about  me.  They sure could, especially on days like today when I ventured out with no make-up and shaggy hair.

I’m not talking about dwelling long and hard on these judgments, just formulating instant impressions.

Can you tell I’m feeling a wee bit convicted about all of this?   Continue reading

Modern-Day Psalm

Being an emotional person who also relies on music heavily to connect with and communicate to God, I love the book of Psalms.  Many of them were written by David, who was called a man after God’s own heart.  You’d think that might mean that they only contain words of praise, thanks, and adulation but actually there is heartfelt, not so happy honesty there, too.  David doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to expressing how he really feels at the moment, even almost accusing God of turning his back on him, refusing to answer him, or abandoning him.  However, at the end of each one Continue reading

Humbled, happy heart

I sat there listening to her sing her heart in phrases and heard God talk to me, as well, “I’m showing you again that I have the power to influence this young lady’s heart.  I made her, you know.  I have planted more in her than you could dream of or design.  As precious as you are to me, you are not the author of this young one’s soul and faith.  I Am.”

Thank you, God, and forgive me for doubting, worrying or trying to orchestrate.  Thank you for hearing my deepest heart prayers for her (and for all my daughters) – that You would draw her near, that You would comfort her and give her the strength to surrender to you.   You can handle the angry cries, the stubborn thoughts, the questions and more.  You keep painting beauty over those things and then giving me glimpses of this tough and tender work of art that is my daughter.

How I’ve underestimated all my girls at times, in many ways.  Don’t let me do it any more.  Why would I think they are any less complicated, any less deep thinkers and ponderers, any less in tune with God than I am?  Why would I not think You talk to them the way You do me, that You relish every moment they sit with you, read Your word, sing songs to You?  I’m simply a few years farther down the path, but we’re on the same path following You, “I Am”, our incredible Savior and Creator.

We harmonized together on some familiar tunes and I was drawn into worship as I sat in sleepy comfort.  You were sitting right there, Jesus.  The only thing I can do is bow down in my heart, my thankful, peace-filled, humbled heart.

This song will hold more meaning for me from now on:

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I’ll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you        (© Hillsong United)

Getting healthier after some turmoil last year when pastor left. Facility is really nice and new. Upward basketball – 200+ kids. Pretty good sense of mission, awareness of the need to be missional. Recently changed to a governance leadership structure – significant tool for next pastor.

 

Still some unresolved longstanding, systemic unhealthy conflict. Mortgage – income that comes in with which they pay the mortgage is usually about $4000 a month short. They use cash reserves right now from the sale of their old building to pay the shortfall but that won’t last forever. Still some division from the conflict last year that is healing but isn’t over.

A quick look back, then we face the dawn

I believe in pressing forward and in living in this day but once in a while it’s good to take a quick look back to see how far we’ve come and remember what we learned.  A friend of mine said today that looking toward this new year is like throwing out a fishing line, we wait and watch to see what we’ll reel in, not knowing, but hoping.  I joked that it’s probably good we can’t see all that we’re going to “reel in” this coming year and that I’m glad Jesus is there to help us if we have to pull in something really heavy or menacing.  Today I’ve been thinking some about the lessons I caught in 2010.  Some of them were whoppers: Continue reading

‘Tis the time to talk of new beginnings

My youngest says I tweet too much but hey, that’s what twitter is for right?  And there are plenty of people who tweet more often than I do.  So I told her, “If you don’t want to read all my tweets then just don’t follow me anymore” to which she replied, “Okay, I won’t”.  Well, fine.  I follow several pastors and other bloggers that offer food for thought, encouraging words, and more.  I also follow people like Conan O’Brien and Jim Gaffigan, not quite as edifying but good for some laughs.  It’s fun.

One of the tweeters I follow is called “ChatBible” from the UK.  He tweeted today about new beginnings, which only seems fitting since it’s the start of the new year:  Noah (Gen 9) Ruth (Ruth 1) Peter (Jn 21) and Paul (Acts 9). Which brings most hope…& why? Continue reading

To Inifinity and Beyond

Do you ever feel afraid when you think about going to heaven?  That’s a weird question, I know.  I woke this morning thinking not so much about heaven exactly, as about eternity, about what happens when we die, about what it could be like to be somewhere forever…and ever.  It may seem crazy to you but whenever I start thinking about that I begin to feel anxious.  I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s something my mind can’t grasp or understand.   After all, I have no frame of reference.  Everything in my life, and in this world, has a beginning and end.  I was conceived and began as a cluster of cells multiplying and growing (a pretty huge miracle in itself).  When my time has come, I will die and my heart will stop beating, my brain stop processing and thinking, and my physical body will give out.  Each day has a beginning (the sun comes up) and an end (the sun goes down and the moon and stars appear).  I wake and sleep.  There are physical boundaries to my home, my town, my country, and my world.  Once into space, however, it starts to become mind-boggling since there is no edge to the universe.  Where does it end, if it ends and if it does, what’s on the outside of it?  OH!  I tell myself to just stop thinking about it, to stop trying to comprehend how it could be.  The truth is, there is no way we can see the edge or end of the universe, and from what I’ve heard it keeps spreading, so infinity seems to be reality.

If you’re still reading this rambling post, bully for you!   Continue reading

His Indescribable Gift

3 days ’til Christmas…if you have children in your house I’m sure they have made you aware of this and are counting down the days and even hours until Christmas morning.  Many of them will be so excited to see the surprises waiting for them under the tree that they won’t be able to sleep the night before.  Gifts have been a big part of celebrating Christmas for centuries.

Did that start because of the gifts the wise men gave Jesus, Mary and Joseph when they finally arrived?  Did the tradition become more pronounced because of the original Saint Nicholas who gave anonymous gifts to needy people by dropping small bags of coins or other treasures down their chimneys?  It actually was started by God, the original and best gift giver of all time.  He offered His Son, out of love, and continues to give good gifts to his children.  He is the most generous, creative, and recklessly lavish giver.

Imagine your boss left gifts for you and all your co-workers – hefty cash bonuses for a year’s work well done.  Imagine that you hadn’t gotten the memo Continue reading

No Hierarchy of Servants

My parents were celebrated Sunday by the church they’ve pastored for the last six years.  They’re retiring not only from that pastorate but from more than 43 years of ministry all over the place.  It was a special day and as I watched and listened to what people shared and thought about how God has used them throughout all that time I was thankful, amazed and proud.   It was no rose-lined path they walked even though there definitely were beautiful places here and there.  They have faced their share of trouble, as we all do.  My dad sank into a deep depression and burnout when I was about 21.  He took some time away and returned ready to share some of the issues he was wrestling with, including expectations others had for his life.  His parents, my grandparents, were missionaries and somehow while growing up my dad perceived there is a hierarchy of servants when it comes to ministry for Jesus.  If you’re committed to Christ you’ll serve in a church, if you’re extra committed you’ll be a pastor, and if you’re über committed Continue reading

If he only knew

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem village, Judah territory— this was during Herod’s kingship—a band of scholars arrived in Jerusalem from the East. They asked around, “Where can we find and pay homage to the newborn King of the Jews? We observed a star in the eastern sky that signaled his birth. We’re on pilgrimage to worship him.  “When word of their inquiry got to Herod, he was terrified…  Matthew 2:1-4 The Msg

King Herod was a little paranoid, to say the least.  His reaction to the news that a new king was born was defensiveness, fear and eventually even murder.  He asked his advisors what the prophecy said about where the little one would be born, but maybe he should have asked them more about the prophecies.  He would have heard how this baby would grow to be the Messiah, to save people from their sins and bring deliverance.  It was going to be a really good thing, not a threat.  Jesus was not going to grow up and organize a coup to overthrow Herod.  If Herod only knew, the new king Jesus could have saved him, too.

Some people may look at Christians and think we’re a silly bunch allowing Jesus to be Lord of our lives, allowing someone else to be in control, living within boundaries set by God.  If they only knew that God’s boundaries are set in love, that He is in control anyway so we might as well acknowledge that, and having Him lead gives us hope and purpose.  Some think of God as a dictator or puppet-master and resist Him.  Some feel threatened when they’re given the opportunity to join God’s family.  If they only knew!   God is for them, not against them.

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us?  Romans 8:31-38 The Msg