Tag Archives: God

Day 12 – We have all we need

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I don’t have a lot to say today but I did really enjoy worship this morning.  We sang a new song with the lyrics, “We have all we need in You, and all we need is You…”  (Charlie Hall) and another that sang of Jesus in this way

“Beautiful Jesus
Beautiful Savior
Nothing is greater, brilliant Creator
Friend of mine
Perfect in power
Matchless in glory
Nothing is greater, brilliant Creator
Friend of mine.”    (by Kristian Stanfill)

It was so good to focus on Jesus and be reminded that He really is all we need.  I loved singing next to my daughters and harmonizing with them while we all sang…wonderful.  Kimmi and her boyfriend surprised us and came too!  Then we all went to lunch.  We had lots of laughs along with our tacos and nachos.

Something that stood out to me from this morning’s message at church was an illustration the speaker gave about his 7th grade year and flag football.  He was not such an athletic type: a little chubby and always chosen last for teams in PE.  During flag football they would make him a blocker so that he just stood there while the rest of the boys ran out the plays.  He decided to start at least running over to the side and up toward the goal line, just for something to do.  It came down to the last play in which they could possibly win the game.  He enthusiastically suggested to the quarterback in the team huddle that he could run to the goal line, since he was always wide open down there, and receive a pass.  The quarterback agreed and told him which pattern to run.  He excitedly ran the pattern, stood wide open in the end zone, not really sure the quarterback would really throw it to him when all of the sudden he saw the quarterback looking at him!  He nervously opened his arms and thought, “In this moment I can either be a hero or zero,” but actually caught the ball and they won!

God will use us when we feel so inadequate or that we’re an unlikely choice.  For some reason that illustration really struck a chord inside of me.   In the last 6-8 months or so, through various events, conversations and experiences, I’ve been second-guessing the ability John and I have to really lead a church or be fruitful as pastors.   I’ve compared us to other more cool or outgoing pastors, to other churches that seem to be busting at the seams with new converts, to entrepeneur types who have energizer bunny-type gusto and the creativity to match.  Even though I know I shouldn’t compare myself or my husband to anyone else, it happens.  When I heard the story this morning of the awkward football hero my heart swelled.  AND, if it’s true what I’ve been posting about how God made me and made John just the way we are on purpose, then that means he can use us the way we are to draw people to Him and help His cause.  I want to be better and more like Him, but I don’t have to change personalities, John doesn’t have to change personalities.  Just the way we are, we will look up from time to time and see God looking at us getting ready to make a pass.   He also enables us to catch it and score.  He wants us on his team.  He wants you.  He wants anyone who’s willing to be a part of what He’s doing, no matter how introverted, extroverted, serious, funny, cool or uncool we might be.

I have nothing against cool, awesomely outgoing servants of God, that’s for sure!  Just wanted to clarify that.   It’s just good to be reminded that God will throw to me, too.

(By the way, I’m not writing this to get reassurances from my sweet friends – just being honest and getting stuff out in the open)

Day 9 – Comfortable in my own skin

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I started reading a book called “The Me I Want to Be” by John Ortberg and it’s really good.  Of course, it takes me a long time to read books because I start them and then don’t often sit still long enough to read them again or finish them.  I have a lot of books by my bed that have been started and not finished yet, with little paper bookmarks sticking up between pages about 1/3 of the way from the beginning.  That’s just one of my weird quirks I guess.   There have been some stories that were so good I’d take the book with me everywhere and read every spare moment I could get.  That hasn’t happened too often, though.

You know what else is weird about me?  When walking on square tile or linoleum floors I often step in every other square in a pattern.  When sitting, I almost always twitch my toes in a rhythm.  I pop my thumbs all the time.  My girls think that is hilarious and strange.  It’s almost subconscious.  I have a round, red nose caused by a condition called “rhinophyma” which is what W. C. Fields had.  It’s typically found in males who are alcoholics, which I am neither so go figure.  I love people and get energized by spending time with friends but also feel like an introvert sometimes and want to be alone.  I’m perfectionistic, impulsive, too silly sometimes, sensitive and emotional, love easily, pretty patient most of the time, too quick to act sometimes, selfish, can be obsessive…the list goes on.  I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin, though.  Continue reading →

Day 8 – Peace, Providence & the Peewee

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I pulled into the parking lot at work this morning and thought to myself, “How did I get here?”  My head was pounding from a sinus headache and my body evidently switched into autopilot to transport me from point A to point B.  The office is very quiet – on Wednesdays I’m usually the only one here – and so the whir of the heating system and the quiet clicking of the keys on my keyboard were the only sounds I heard for a while.  Even though my head was still hurting, the quietness was welcome and gave me peace.

God reminded me yesterday that fretting over the future or letting fear creep in robs me of the peace He has for me.  Continue reading →

Day 7 – Undercover Boss

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Have you seen ads for a new show on TV called “Undercover Boss”?  In a reality show format, a boss or CEO of a company suits up in the uniform of his/her employees and works side by side with them.  They won’t know it’s their boss.  I want to see it sometime.  I can imagine a couple of possible outcomes:  one – the employees might get embarrassed or worse, even fired, if the boss sees that they goof around all the time or cheat or some other unethical choices, two – after working in their shoes for a while the boss might gain more compassion, appreciation or respect for them and treat them better afterward, three – boss and employees could have a much better relationship after their worlds intersect more closely for a while and after the boss gains some new perspective.

I saw this bumper sticker once and it made me laugh.  Jesus is coming again someday, true, but He already came and walked with his people, lived side by side, and stood in our shoes.  It’s so hard to comprehend God, who is not limited in any way, who made everything that exists (so He must be bigger than it all), who can be everywhere at once and knows everything, putting skin on and becoming one of us.  It’s almost as if He said, watching people mess up and live broken by sin, “I need to take care of this myself.”  How did He shrink Himself down?  How awkward would that be for Him to be enclosed, to be limited, to be in a body that could be sick or damaged? Continue reading →

A little more about Kelly

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Since I posted about Kelly Clark, US Olympic Snowboarder, the other day I’ve heard more of her story and have to pass it on.

I was encouraging a friend who emailed me this morning, a friend who tends to be hard on herself if she messes up or falls short on a goal.  As I typed a reply to her God really spoke to my heart, too.  I think everyone falls into the trap of equating personal worth with accomplishments or the things we are doing, so that if we fail to do something or mess up we feel less worthwhile, even downright worthless.

Like I posted before, Kelly Clark was doing the same thing and it wasn’t working.   After a competitor fell during a match, she overheard one of the other competitors tell her, “It’s okay, God still loves you.”  That stirred a hunger in Kelly to find out more.  Read this great article to find out the details of how God drew her to Him and filled her heart with His freeing love.

Our worth comes from the fact that God loves us and adopted us.  He wants you.  He gave everything anyone could give so that you could be His and be close to Him.  When you accept that gift of forgiveness and are willing to be adopted by Him, that alone gives you endless worth in His eyes.  “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done…”  Ephesians 2:8-9

Failing to do something you think you should, not doing something well, or messing up can never make God love you any less.   Performing 150%, working your tail off, and striving every day for excellence (while those can be good things) will never make God love you any more.  He LOVES you.  He loves.  He loves.  Just because of who You are in Him.

If the enemy is trying to pull a fast one on you by making you feel a failure, that you’re a disappointment, that you’re not good enough, or any other lies like that, be like Kelly and put your spiritual iPod on your heart to drown him out.  Listen only to Jesus’ loving voice and live in freedom today!  You can enjoy the moment you’re in right now knowing no matter what you do or don’t do, you are worth more than you know to God.

Day 6 – Recall

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I feel so badly for Toyota these days. What an expense they’re paying for all the repairs they have to make on recalled vehicles. So many models had to be recalled for defects and problems. It could potentially put them under, I suppose, especially if people lose faith in their long-standing reputation for safety and reliability.

If the customers ignore the recall it could have serious repercussions for them. You know, an acceleration pedal that sticks isn’t exactly safe – could be exciting but definitely not safe.  We have some friends who owned a truck that had been recalled due to something in the ignition. They hadn’t yet taken it in for repairs and one day the defective part caused a spark that caused a fire and burned down their home! Thankfully no one was hurt.

It hasn’t been on the news lately, but there is a recall on the human race.  Because of sin, we’re born defective and need God to repair us, to fix the brokenness with His forgiveness. If we ignore the recall there will definitely be serious repercussions, now and forever. Some people haven’t yet heard about the recall so they are unknowingly going about life in a dangerous state. If they don’t hear in time it could cost them their lives…in the truest sense of the word.

The Toyota vehicles can’t fix themselves and the owners can’t really fix them. They have to be returned to the original manufacturer who has the original parts, technology, and know-how to really make things right.

Our original manufacturer is the only one who can really fix us and put us in the best operating condition. It probably won’t be a one-time repair – but thankfully He’s available 24/7 and is more than willing to look us over time and time again. One day there will be a final recall.  It will be the last one but a beautiful one: life forever with God with bodies and souls that won’t need repairs anymore.

He heals the heartbroken
and bandages their wounds….
Our Lord is great, with limitless strength;
we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does.
God puts the fallen on their feet again… Psalm 147:2-4 The Msg

Day 5 – Filled up

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Today in church we heard a message about emptiness and finding true fulfillment, something that really fills the emptiness we often feel inside.  So many times I’ve tried to fill my heart with other things but they aren’t lasting.  Kind of like the foamy fizz on top of a fountain soda, it fills the cup to the brim for a minute or so but soon goes away leaving lots of empty space.

I realize that I expected facebook to help fill the loneliness I’ve been feeling.  It helps a little but I have to admit that facebook is mostly fizz.  Connections there are on the surface and not the same as when we connect face to face or voice to voice.  I feel so much more connected to someone if we talk on the phone or in person, if I can actually be with them and see their face (not just a photo and status), can hear their laughter and voice, and feel their hugs.  (I still like facebook just realizing it can’t really fill me up)

Today we met some friends for lunch and while we waited for them to arrive, a whole gang of other friends from our old church showed up.  My girls and I practically ran to the door to give them hugs and greet them Continue reading →

Day 3 – Alone

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Forty days is a long time to spend wandering in a rocky, dusty wilderness, especially without food.  Lots of time for thinking, praying, listening, walking, resting, trying to sleep.  It was hard for the tanned and sweaty man not to think about the gnawing hunger and thirst inside.  Then there were the moments of temptation and taunting from the enemy, so artfully crafting arguments to try to persuade Him to abandon his true purpose, even His true identity.  Would he be able to keep his weakening heart and tired eyes focused on obedience and perseverance to complete this time of solitude, to be honed and made more ready for what was coming?  He had God’s Word, He WAS God’s Word and the enemy was no match for that or for Him.   Even so, heading into the wilderness and surviving its lessons and temptations, Jesus was alone.

Once he began teaching and performing miracles, the people couldn’t get enough of Him.  He would teach, heal and love all day, get in a boat with his disciples, arrive at a different place only to see a sea of smiling, eager faces of those who wanted to hear him teach, to have his attention, to feel his healing touch.   Reading about his compassion even when he must have been physically exhausted always amazes me.  No wonder Jesus often got up early before the sun even came up, and went off somewhere by himself.  That time of quiet prayer with God must have been refreshing, even imperative.

Living life with the men He called to follow Him for three years, journeying from town to town, sleeping in others’ homes or outside under the stars, or even by the sea, interacting with hundreds of people in crowds everyday, must have been wonderful, tiring, rewarding, and disappointing all at the same time.  There must have been times when he would pause from teaching to look into the bewildered eyes of his friends and disciples, seeing that they didn’t really understand what He was saying or who He really was.  In those times, I think He felt alone.  Continue reading →

Day 1 – Survive or Thrive

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Today is Ash Wednesday and also the first day of Lent.  Not everyone in the Protestant faith practices lent but it can be a great way to prepare for Easter and practice discipline.  I was reminded about it listening to the radio this morning and immediately had the thought that I should probably give up facebook.  I didn’t want to, though!  I love facebook and being connected to everyone.  As I got out of my car and walked into the building the “suggestion” grew inside as I argued with myself so that by the time I got to my desk I decided that God would like for me to do that – take a break from facebook for this 40-day journey to Easter, so, I am.

I’ve been looking for resources online, maybe a printable devotional I could use with my family but haven’t found what I’m looking for yet.  While reading and searching I’ve realized that there can be much more to this journey toward Easter with Jesus than just giving up something for Him.  Some people choose to “add” something to their day-to-day life sometimes, like more intentionally doing something for someone in need, forgiving someone, purposefully spending extra time reading God’s Word or quietly thinking/meditating, intentionally thanking God or journaling praises every day…many possibilities.  This time can be more than just a time to deprive myself of something I like!  That makes it even more appealing to me.

I’ve been restless the last few weeks and I know that is largely due to not spending quality time with God – quiet, alone, on purpose, just to be with Him.  I have friendships, or really acquaintances, in which I don’t really ever get past small talk or pleasantries to really know that person, to dig deeper and grow close to them.  Those surface relationships are okay but don’t really fulfill me, at least not for long (as I’m sure they don’t do much for those friends).  I need much more than pleasant greetings, polite questions of “how are you?” and smiles.  Continue reading →

This and That

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I haven’t blogged very consistently lately – haven’t had much to say.  I don’t think anyone would want to read something I write just because I feel I should write.  It’s more fun to write when I’ve had a new realization, when God has shown me something new, when something I’ve seen or heard parallels something in my walk with Him and all of you.  I’ve felt somewhat detached at times, not bad, just kind of quiet…it’s hard to describe.  Sometimes I think that the months of emotional ups and downs depleted me and  my emotions are in short supply right now – does that make sense?  I feel good, peaceful, optimistic, thankful, etc. just nothing in extremes now.  Famous last words.  I’m sure now that I’ve actually typed that the floodgates will burst open and I’ll be a blithering idiot spouting emotional exclamations any minute now.

I do have a few things that have come to mind, maybe worth mentioning:

We’re in the midst of winter where I live and it’s been a long, cloudy, cold one.  It’s gotten pretty snowy in the past week or so with a little ice and slush mixed in for fun.  Winter is not my favorite season, in fact it’s my least favorite BUT (and it’s a big but) I have heard God tell me not to complain.  I’ve heard many complaints lately about weather and life in general and it really is a drag.  I feel as if, when we complain, we’re saying to God, “Nope, what you made isn’t good” or “I don’t like what you’re giving me.  Sorry.”  I was reading in Genesis the other day about Noah and the ark and how God promised with his rainbow symbol that from that point on season would follow season, the earth would continue in its pattern without interruption and total destruction.  Continue reading →