More thoughts from the front row

Nothing teaches you about God’s nature as a heavenly father like being a parent.  I have learned so much through the different stages of life we’ve experienced so far about his patience, his unconditional love, his desires for us to “succeed” and win, his devotion, his delight in us, his eagerness to protect and guide us, and more.

frontrowEver since my first little baby girl was born I’ve had the privilege of a front row seat.  God graciously invited John and I to be co-directors in the continuing saga of their lives.  It’s been challenging, exciting, funny, sad, frustrating, exhausting, joyful, disappointing, humbling, and wonderful.  No shortage of dramatic girls for the roles of the three daughters in this story.

About 7-8 years ago the scene began changing as we entered the teen phase of parenting.  It started off so smoothly we smugly thought we had it made.  “Piece of cake!  What’s the big deal everyone’s always talking and whining about?  It’s not that different than the last scene.”  And really, compared to many we do have it made.  Our girls are a delight to us, make us proud, fill our lives so much that we don’t want to imagine what it would be like without them.  The last few years have become a bit more challenging however – Continue reading

Sometimes He does, just for fun

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!   I John 3:1

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever!  Romans 11:36

The eyes of all look to you in hope; You give them their food as they need it.  When you open Your hand, You satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.  The Lord is righteous in everything he does; He is filled with kindness.  Psalm 145:15-17

5771_121925058893_660523893_3105179_7880955_nWe drove out to Crawfordsville to the home of a sweet older couple selling a used Geo Tracker, the car of my middle daughter’s dreams.  Did I mention that she was hoping for a teal-colored Geo Tracker, to be specific?   We had heard that the car was blue with a white roof but were happily surprised to drive around the corner, arriving at the couple’s house, to see that the car is actually teal!  Kaitlin practically jumped out of the van before I could park.  Continue reading

Miscellany

This morning I forced myself out of bed when the alarm clock sounded.   I planned to get up and jog to start the day but felt like doing anything but jogging.  As I groggily walked to the dresser to get my stuff I argued with myself, telling myself I would feel great when I was done and just to keep moving.    I walked out into a cool, still-dark morning and when I rounded the two-story townhouse building where we live I looked up and saw a deep blue sky not yet faded by dawn, a bright white sliver of a crescent moon with a few twinkling, very bright stars nearby.  How beautiful!  I started off walking, turned on the iPod, started to jog and before you know it I realized I was right:  I felt great!

My middle daughter has been working hard this summer at a nearby grocery and saving just about every dollar toward a used car.  She should get her license this Friday, if she passes the driving test of course.  She has had her heart set on a Geo Tracker as her vehicle of choice and has been looking them up on the Internet, seeing them around town, etc.   When Kaitlin sets her sights or heart on something she has laser focus.  (If only I could get her to set her heart on a 4.0 GPA).  We told her to keep an open mind because it may not be a Tracker that God sends her way but an equally good, reliable other used car.  Well this weekend a church friend called to say one of his relatives is selling a 1997 Geo Tracker wit a soft top (convertible!) – only 70,000 miles, one owner and it’s going for $1200.  Kaitlin just has $1200 in her savings!  Continue reading

Not so Desirable Front Row Seat

harry-potter-poster_330x508It seems almost everyone is talking about the new Harry Potter movie, “The Half-Blood Prince” based on J.K. Rowling’s sixth book in the series.  I’ve read all the books and as usual, I think the book is so much better.  The movie is entertaining, for sure, but so much had to be left out and several liberties taken with original story.  [SPOILER WARNING – if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie yet and plan to, don’t read on]

At the end of the story, Death Eaters (the bad guys) have made their way into the previously secure school Hogwarts.  Draco, a student who has become a death eater, has been charged by the dark lord, Voldemort, with the task of killing the head master, Dumbledore.  He’s made several feeble attempts that failed but now has found Dumbledore in a tower (Harry & Dumbledore had just returned from a dangerous quest in another place) and stands with his wand pointed at him, poised to kill.  In the movie, before Draco gets there, Dumbledore tells Harry to run and get a professor and not to come back up to the tower under any circumstances.  Harry starts downstairs but then, hearing what’s happening, stays a floor underneath watching and listening.  He doesn’t run back up to help Dumbledore because He gave his word not to.

In the book, Harry turns to go get the professor and hears Draco come up to the tower where they are.  Before he can turn to say anything or help, Dumbledore wordlessly casts a spell that immobilizes him.  Harry stands under his invisibility cloak, stiff as a statue, leaning up against the wall, an unwilling spectator, unable to move or speak.  Dumbledore talks Draco down so he almost gives up and gives in, but the other death eaters reach the tower including the professor Harry was supposed to fetch.  Harry watches with horror, powerless, as the professor who was supposed to help actually raises his wand pointed at Dumbledore Continue reading

Unplugged

Did you hear it?  The wails of three teenagers echoing across the entire state of Indiana when we told them we were having an “unplugged” no cell phone, no facebook trip to see their grandparents in NY this weekend?

John and I decided we’re going to leave cell phones at home (except for his in case of emergency) and not allow anyone on facebook either.  It’s only for five days but you would have thought we asked each of the girls to personally cut off their own arms and forever live in caves as hermits.

We live in a deluge of input, information, communication, entertainment, and technology and it seems to have caused American Christians to become spiritually malnourished, weak, subtly distracted and preoccupied.   I have to admit I have allowed it to make me that way.   When was the last time I sat down just to be quiet?  How about an evening without turning on the TV or sitting down in front of the Internet?  How about going for a walk outside and not taking the iPod?  Continue reading

The culprit

Walking and talking – one of my favorite things to do with a friend.  We covered 3-4 miles on a sunny, cool morning and many topics ranging from parenting teenagers, memories, misc. stuff, our parents, church, and faith.   My friend shared something with me that I want to share with you.  She had looked up “discouragement” in a commentary.  The author offered four reasons why we get discouraged as believers: the hardness of the way, the difficulty of the task, the affluence of the wicked, and desires that remain unfulfilled.  These all totally make sense to me and I could easily relate to each one.  The fact that life is often not as we expected it to be, especially when following Jesus, can be discouraging.   To see others who aren’t living for Christ and seem to have so much, or have it easy is discouraging if we let it be.  Going through tragedy, sickness, unemployment, persecution, or any other “trial” can definitely wear on us and discourage us.  For each of these discouragement “triggers” my friend said a Bible verse was listed to show the remedy for each one according to God.  Oddly enough, each verse contained the words, “fear not.” Fear is the culprit!   If you think about a tough circumstance or trial you’ve been through, fear is bound to be involved somehow:  fear of the unknown, fear of things turning out different than we hope, fear that we won’t make it through, fear that we’re inadequate for the task, fear of others’ opinions, fear of not having what we need or want, fear of failing…

1732461-9-just-for-today-i-will-not-be-afraidWhen I don’t fully trust God it shows fear, and that leads to discouragement.  Conversely, when I decide to lean out over the edge of the unknown and fully trust in God, even though I can’t see what’s coming, I have such peace and freedom.

Our enemy, satan, loves to use fear.   Continue reading

mishmash

This morning I have so many thoughts, lessons, convictions swirling around in my mind I felt a little overwhelmed as I drove into work.  I talked with God about it but thought it would also help me to put some of them in writing.

I laid out a beautiful sermonette to John last night about how we need to trust the girls and God during these teen years when we can’t really control what happens and we oftentimes have to just sit, watch and pray.  Then today I woke feeling anxious.  God rewound the tape from my “message” last night and played it back right in front of me – the nerve!  Living by my own words is tough today.

If I really trusted Him completely I wouldn’t worry.  So, I’m practicing faith and trust, leaning on Him even though I still feel uncertain.  Sometimes letting go hasn’t been that hard but there are days…

What if my daughters choose ways and lifestyles other than what I hope for them?  Continue reading

The bed bug’s noble purpose

I’m not sure if the purpose of bed bugs is the same for everyone but God has taught me something through this process of trying to escort these persistent pests out of our house for good.

They are so stealthy and seem to come from nowhere.  Just when we think we’ve killed the last one, steamed every inch of the walls, corners and mattresses, we’ll see one on the wall or way up high, hiding in a paint crack in the edge where the wall meets the ceiling.

It’s become a morning routine for me to wake up, wipe the sleepies out of my eyes, then stand up and survey the ceiling edges all the way around the room.  Any bug spotted will be crushed with a Kleenex.  Then we steam that part of the wall in case there are any of the practically invisible eggs nearby.

For several days we saw none but now we see one or two a day, either in our room or our daughters’ room where they were the worst.

We’ve super-cleaned, we’ve sprayed “Kilz” over the stained areas so that new activity will be easily seen, we’ve vacuumed like crazy, washed our bedsheets over and over…all in an attempt to rid ourselves of this problem once and for all.  We’re so persistent because if we aren’t they will multiply and the problem will be worse and a big pain all over again.

search-heartOne night as I was steaming and scouring my girls’ room for the little boogers, God spoke to my heart and said I should be as diligent about making sure I’ve gotten rid of all the sin lurking in the edges and cracks of my heart.  I have to let God daily survey my heart, crush any sinful “pest” He finds there, and cleanse me again.  I have to search my heart all the time to make sure some bitter attitude isn’t growing in the corner or some small temptation I’ve let remain isn’t crouching in a shadow waiting for an unsuspecting moment to trip me up.

Thank God that His Holy Spirit can see every part of me, into even the tiniest crevice, and that He can wash away EVERY last smudge of sin and make me truly clean.  Thank God that He’s willing to do that time and time again and not give up on me, because I won’t be rid of the pest of sinfulness completely until I go to be with Him in heaven.  What a joy that will be!

I even thank God for the bed bugs, if only for the lesson He’s teaching me, and the reminder they will be each time I see them, to be ruthless about ridding my heart of sin.

“How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.”     Psalm 19:12

Not all it’s cracked up to be

shia“Sometimes I feel I’m living a meaningless life, and I get frightened. … I don’t handle fame well. Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew, I’d fill it, and I’d be on my way. … Actors live dependent on being validated by other people’s opinions. … The good actors are all screwed up. They’re all in pain. It’s a profession of bottom-feeders and heartbroken people.” —23-year-old Shia LaBeouf

When I read this I was so sad. It’s another reminder that outward appearances are so deceiving, and that everyone needs real love. Sometimes we make negative judgments about people that seem from their appearance to be down and out, or dirty, “naughty”, not so smart, irresponsible, etc. I guess we need to be careful not to judge the other way either and assume that someone who looks amazing, handsome, well dressed, is famous, or gets raving reviews is happy and has a good, fulfilling life.

This quote from Shia sounds like a cry for help, a correction to people’s assumptions that actors/actresses, those being stalked by paparazzi, those who are applauded for their talents and looks by the masses, are just as empty inside without God as anyone else. I hate it that he says “If I knew, I’d fill it”. Someone who loves Jesus needs to share God’s love with Shia LeBeouf! Famous people seem far off and unapproachable when it comes to one of us ordinary believers sharing about Jesus…as if their fame and status makes them less likely to listen or want to hear something good and hopeful.

Everyone needs God’s love, no matter how many people have a poster of them in their room, no matter how many movie tickets they sold, no matter how many cities they’re touring, no matter how high up we exalt them. Their heart is the same as mine and yours. Their soul is hungry like mine was before I knew God through Jesus. They feel loneliness that they can’t really explain or escape without the life-giving relationship with their Creator and heavenly Father. I hope God will reach out to Shia today through someone who is a Christ-follower.

I hope God will give the believers in Shia’s life compassion and a wake-up call to share hope and good news. I hope this happens for all the celebrities that are shining stars on the outside and hurting, broken souls on the inside.

Randomizer

The last time I posted a bullety, random post I accidentally deleted it.  Here’s to not accidentally clicking the wrong button anymore.

  • I say cautiously that I think we may have kicked the bed bugs out for good.  It’s been 3 days since we’ve seen one.  Our friends who lent the personal steamer said we can keep it for a while, just in case.  Thanks!
  • My 14-year-old nephew has arrived from Phoenix at the Indy airport and is awaiting my husband and two older daughters who are picking him up.  He’s here to visit for a week an we’re so excited!  He’s one of the neatest kids I’ve ever met. Ever.
  • One of the bonuses of the bed bug “experience” is a super-clean (at least for now) townhouse.  Ahhhh.  Rugs are clean, base boards are clean, all the blankets and linens and clothes are clean.   Now if we could only keep this up.  Yeah, right!
  • I’m reading I Samuel right now and was curious when I read that once Saul had disappointed God, God sent a tormenting spirit to give Saul a hard time.  I didn’t know God would do things like that.  I asked John what he thought and he said maybe God was punishing him.  Hmmm…     Told you God was a mystery!
  • I was all concerned about my youngest the other day but God has really been answering prayers and showing in clearly visible ways that He’s able to break through and speak to her, guide her, and love her – even without my advice or help.  It sure does this mom’s heart good.  Thank you, God!
  • I’ve been really busy and working hard since…well…it seems like forever… especially last week and over the weekend.  As a result I’m realllly tired.  I feel good but just tired.   I keep hoping one day I’ll get a day all to myself, no kids at home, no husband, just me, the quiet animals, and Jesus.  Now THAT would be something.
  • I so need to get back into an exercise routine.  It’s amazing how quickly the body shape changes and muscle turns to flab when you just sit around.  Crazy!   It would probably help if I stop eating ice cream.
  • John just preached about trusting and obeying God under pressure and today I felt a lot of pressure.  I am trying to trust and obey!  I think God decided I needed object lessons to go along with that message so I’d be sure to understand and internalize the idea. 
  • We’re still waiting for someone to rent or lease to own our house in Missouri.  It is taking forever!  That’s another thing we keep waiting and waiting on, trying to fully trust and know God will do something sometime.  I wish we could go see it for ourselves and make sure it’s okay.  It’s hard being 5 hours away – it costs more for us to make a trip over than ask someone to clean the yard for us, etc.
  • I tried something new at McAlister’s today for lunch – a harvati sweet chipotle chicken panini.  Try saying that ten times fast!  It was delicious!  I love it when trying something new has good results.  I’m such a creature of habit, ordering things I KNOW taste good.  I felt adventurous and daring today evidently.
  • My doggy has a tumor the size of a small loaf of bread on her side!  The vet said it wasn’t cancerous (at least it wasn’t at Christmas time) and we can’t afford to get it removed so she looks rather lumpy and lopsided, poor thing.  It doesn’t seem to bother her.  She’s so sweet.  I love her.  What a great companion.
  • The new Christy Nockels CD is so good!  You should give a listen sometime.  I especially love the song “By Our Love.”
  • Once Curtis gets here and I give hugs, I’m going to bed!  I’m pooped!