I still smile and laugh to myself when I remember our youngest girl, Kristine, at the age of 4, telling me that she didn’t want to grow up. When I asked her why not she answered, “I don’t know how to grocery shop. I don’t know how to drive.”
I giggled and said, “It’s okay, when you get older you’ll learn those things. You don’t have to worry about that right now. You’ll know when you get there.”
“Well I don’t want to be a mommy.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know how to take care of babies!”
I think I eventually convinced her that although she didn’t know at the age of 4 what she would need to know 15-20 years down the road it was okay. She wasn’t supposed to. It would come later. I tried to help her see that growing up was fun and good, that she would like it and that it’s just what happens naturally to all of us.
God brought this memory front and center this morning and showed me that I do this all the time; I look waaaay down the road and panic thinking “I don’t know how do those things!” In my heart I try to jump way ahead and figure everything out, I guess so I’ll feel I have some minute amount of control over my life and the outcomes. The “what ifs” pile up into needless anxiety.
I feel like He’s saying to me this morning, “You don’t have to know what to do when and if that time comes because when you get there, you’ll know. I’ll show you. I’ll teach you. Why are you worrying about that now?” Continue reading

This morning I had the thought that if we could get a higher altitude view of life, especially in the moments when we’re mired down in the weeds or mud of a tough circumstance, it would make it easier to go on. Imagine walking through a late summer corn field when the corn’s taller than you are, following someone who is cutting a path or design in the field. From the ground’s perspective it would all look very much the same: rustling rows of green corn stalks as far as the eye could see. If you could fly up above the field and look down, however, you’d see the design taking shape. You might even have an “Aha!” moment, smiling and saying, “I get it now.”
Over the two years we worked together he became a really good friend. He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls. One night they had us over for dinner. We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn. It was such a lovely night. I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary.
He drove by the McDonald’s. What? Jodi, Jon and I looked at each other again and asked him, “Dad, where are you going?”
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