Tag Archives: God

When You Get There

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I still smile and laugh to myself when I remember our youngest girl, Kristine, at the age of 4, telling me that she didn’t want to grow up.  When I asked her why not she answered, “I don’t know how to grocery shop.  I don’t know how to drive.”

I giggled and said, “It’s okay, when you get older you’ll learn those things.  You don’t have to worry about that right now.  You’ll know when you get there.”

“Well I don’t want to be a mommy.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know how to take care of babies!”

long-road-walking-walk-score-photoI think I eventually convinced her that although she didn’t know at the age of 4 what she would need to know 15-20 years down the road it was okay.  She wasn’t supposed to.  It would come later.  I tried to help her see that growing up was fun and good, that she would like it and that it’s just what happens naturally to all of us.

God brought this memory front and center this morning and showed me that I do this all the time; I look waaaay down the road and panic thinking “I don’t know how do those things!”  In my heart I try to jump way ahead and figure everything out, I guess so I’ll feel I have some minute amount of control over my life and the outcomes.   The “what ifs” pile up into needless anxiety.

I feel like He’s saying to me this morning, “You don’t have to know what to do when and if that time comes because when you get there, you’ll know.  I’ll show you.  I’ll teach you.  Why are you worrying about that now?” Continue reading →

The view from higher up

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117894839_fd18170369This morning I had the thought that if we could get a higher altitude view of life, especially in the moments when we’re mired down in the weeds or mud of a tough circumstance, it would make it easier to go on.  Imagine walking through a late summer corn field when the corn’s taller than you are, following someone who is cutting a path or design in the field.  From the ground’s perspective it would all look very much the same: rustling rows of green corn stalks as far as the eye could see.  If you could fly up above the field and look down, however, you’d see the design taking shape.  You might even have an “Aha!” moment, smiling and saying, “I get it now.”

If you’re the member of a marching band, from where you march and play on the Astroturf all you see is a large crowd of fellow musicians, all dressed in the same costume as you milling around, looking like a mess.  If you sat high in the stands and watched the same band however, you’d see those rows of marching players become patterns and shapes morphing from one to the other and it would make more sense.  It would be more fun.  The purpose of all the milling about would be clear.

I need God to lift me to a higher altitude when I’m in the weeds of a confusing situation, or one where nothing around me is pointing the way.  Right now I feel like I’m in that corn field, calling out to God, “Okay, which way?” only to hear just the leaves rustling.  I turn and turn but I just see rows.  Continue reading →

Re-run

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I posted this on my old xanga blog once and post it now for a good friend who could use a little carrying right now.

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Sometime “Mutts” just makes me grin, sometimes is makes me laugh out loud.  This one tugged at my heart as I imagined myself as the puppy and the man as Jesus.

Let Him carry you.  Don’t struggle and don’t leap out of his arms onto the hot sand.  We may feel that in our struggles God is far away.  I think in those times He’s actually closer – we just get caught up in our pain, distress, or anxiety and become less aware of Him.  Think about it.  When a little child is hurt badly they are so absorbed in the hurt and the fear that it takes some time to console them.  “I’m here” we tell them over and over.  “It’s okay.”  Sometimes we even have to take their little tear-stained face in our hands and physically turn their eyes to see us.

Jesus said He will never leave me or forsake me.  I believe Him.

You are my strong shield, and I trust you completely.

You have helped me, and I will celebrate and thank you in song.

You give strength to your people, LORD,

You save and protect your chosen ones.

Come save us and bless us.

Be our shepherd and always carry us in your arms.    Psalm 28:7-9  CEV

WTDWYDKWTD #4

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While cleaning out files I paused to look through one I had long ago labeled “correspondence.”  In it, I’ve saved a copy of just about every Christmas letter we’ve sent out as well as some stationery and postcards yet to be used, and a few notes that were evidently “save-worthy”.  I leafed through the letters and smiled (sometimes laughed) to myself as I read them – the scenes replaying in my mind of the years gone by with our girls, from babyhood to the teenage years.  I then pulled out a letter-sized envelope addressed to us when we lived in New Mexico, our first pastorate.  It was from our dear friend, Gil Stafford, professor at the seminary where John attended.  I had the blessed opportunity to work for him for a short while when I was secretary for CBH, the Church of God radio program of which he was speaker.  I would go to his office at the seminary once a month, take letters, go over business, then visit with him.  He never made me feel like I needed to hurry away and soon became someone I would open my heart to and ask questions of, even pray with.  He had so much wisdom and love for God and the Bible, was cheerful and kind every time.  I’ve heard that the word “enthusiastic” comes from the Greek words “en theos” which mean “”in God” or “God within.”  Gil was definitely enthusiastic.

staffordimageOver the two years we worked together he became a really good friend.  He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls.  One night they had us over for dinner.  We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn.  It was such a lovely night.   I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary. Continue reading →

WTDWYDKWTD #3

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“The godly offer good counsel…”  Psalm 37:30

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume…”  Proverbs 27:9

If you know me at all, you know that when something is on my mind I need to talk about it…a lot.  I have times of quiet, to be sure, when I need to pray and think, but I also need to process my thoughts by talking with someone.  I think everyone is like that to a certain extent.   My husband is my absolute best friend and partner, but sometimes I need to talk to someone a little more outside the situation – someone who hopefully can be objective.

There’s wisdom in seeking out a godly friend to listen and give feedback when you’re not sure what to do.  Be sure to choose your listener/adviser/counsel wisely.  (Whenever I say “choose wisely” I think of the 3rd Indiana Jones movie scene when the bad guy chose the wrong holy chalice and got his face melted off.  Please…choose wisely!)  It doesn’t make sense to ask just anyone what I should do or what they think, if they don’t believe the same things I do.  For instance, if I shared a story about someone who had hurt me with a non-believing friend, they might advise me to just ignore that person from now on or even take revenge somehow.  Continue reading →

WTDWYDKWTD #2

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When I was in the sixth grade, my dad pastored a church in Lake Wales, Florida.  One Saturday there was supposed to be a work day so my brother, sister and I got our old clothes on and got ready to go help out at the church.  That was the plan.  My parents piled us in the big, light green, Chevy impala we owned and started off down the road.   Dad drove right past the church.  We looked at each other and asked him what was up.  He said we were going to McDonald’s first for breakfast.  Cool!

mcdonalds_cropped_by_daquella_maneraHe drove by the McDonald’s.  What?  Jodi, Jon and I looked at each other again and asked him, “Dad, where are you going?”

“Oh, there’s another McDonald’s down the road a ways.”

“Okay,” we thought, puzzled.

Dad passed the next McDonald’s.  Okay, something is weird here!  “Dad, we’re going to be late for the work day!” we cried, “We’re way down the road now.”

He smiled and said, “There’s another McDonald’s a little farther on.”  In fact he and mom started singing a silly impromptu song, “Ohhhhhh there’s a McDonald’s in Lake Wales, there’s a McDonald’s in Winter Haven…”  We realized our parents had officially lost it.  Continue reading →

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do #1

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I did it again.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  For months I’ve been praying for my church to grow and for my faith to grow.  I’m telling you, when you pray for growth, patience, or humility you’re asking for it.

I’ve been praying God would do radical surgery on my heart and my hubby’s heart and the hearts of all the people in our church family – that we would develop driving, burning, enduring concern and love for people who are lost and without Jesus.  I’ve prayed that He would direct us and show us answers.  What should we do?

We want to do what pleases you, God.  We want to be more like You…but how do we do that?

Well God’s shaking up our world.  I know He’s been answering my prayers even before evidence started bubbling above the surface this past weekend.  At one point on Sunday it washed completely over me:  God is going to do something life-changing, something BIG, something we didn’t expect, something that will challenge us beyond what we’ve experienced before.  Along with that wave of “revelation” came a huge sense of dread.  My stomach felt as if it was being wrung out like a wet washcloth.

Do we have it in us to do what you’re asking, God?  I looked across the sanctuary to where my husband sat.  The whole “spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” truth was about to knock me over. Continue reading →

More than anything…or anyone.

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There are those moments when faith claims you’ve made seem to fly up in front of you and you have the choice to act and prove they’re true or recant.  One moment I recall this happening for me was when I got my cancer diagnosis.  All of the sudden all the claims I had made about always trusting God, His constant presence, and believing in healing sprung up in front of me and I had to decide whether or not I would put feet to my faith, the good ol’ “rubber meets the road” cliche.   All I could do was try.  Put one foot in front of the other and see if God was there.  He was.

Another instance that comes to mind was the passing of my grandmother almost two years ago.  I have always believed in heaven and eternal life with Jesus, but all of the sudden her death triggered a time to re-think and decide if I really believe it.  Do I really believe that she’s there now?  Do I really believe that I’ll see her there, that we’ll live forever?   I’m choosing to believe what Jesus said…that if we trust in Him we’ll live with him, even though our bodies here die.  If anyone trusted Jesus, my grandmother was front in line.   Continue reading →

Look in the mirror. Own up to what you see.

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If I want my doctor to help me with something, I have to tell her what’s wrong.  I have to reveal things about myself that might not be so pretty.  If I want a counselor to assist me in regaining wholeness, I have to be gut honest about myself, my family, my past, whatever, in order for him/her to get to the root of the problem and show me how to resolve it.  Without a willingness to be fully open or totally honest, I’ll just be getting band-aid solutions that don’t fully get rid of the real problem.  The symptoms might go away for a while but they’ll be back, and maybe even more ferociously than before.

It’s not easy.  Probably the biggest obstacle is my pride.  Why would I want to show someone else something ugly or flawed about myself?  How embarrassing.  What will they think?   How will I feel about myself?   Who wants to admit a glaring weakness to someone else and show that I don’t have it all together?  I might even appear hypocritical.

This weekend our church is a part of a consultation to help us evaluate ourselves and grow.  One step toward growth, integrity, and becoming more like Jesus is being willing to see truthfully who we are and/or what we have become, admit it is true and be ready to submit to God’s molding, reshaping, and pruning.  It’s as if He’s holding up his big supernatural mirror and we’re seeing the big picture like we haven’t before.  John and I met with the consultation team last night.  Before we went in I felt a little like I did back in school days thinking I had to see the principal. Continue reading →

No whiner babies allowed, including me

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complainingcom-plain [kuhm-pleyn]
to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault

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I called my daughter on the carpet last night and confronted her about a complaining attitude, only to have God gently poke me on the shoulder this morning and tell me to heed my own words.  Ow.

My daughter’s not so thrilled with her part-time job and says something about it just about every time she’s about to go there and work.  This week it was getting old to me.  I told her if she was that unhappy with it to just quit, but that she also wouldn’t have a job, or an income, or gas money, or spending money.  I reminded her that there are many less-appealing jobs she could have and to be thankful.  She knows all this stuff but I felt a reminder was in order.

I was thinking more about it as John and I finished our jog/walk this morning in quietness, as the dark blue sky began to lighten and the twinkling stars began to fade out of sight.  The Bible tells us that every good thing comes from God, the Father of light, who never changes like shifting shadows do.  What He gives is good!   So, when my daughter complains about her job, in a way she’s saying, “I don’t like your gift,” or “it’s not good enough” or “I wish you had given me something different.”  We wouldn’t say that to a friend or someone in our family who had just given us a gift – it would be hurtful and ungrateful.  When we complain – an ungrateful attitude is lurking and showing itself.

I looked up the word complain on dictionary.com and found it interesting that the first definition is to “express dissatisfaction.”  Continue reading →