Good Scars

She said she’s going to get a tattoo that says “Beauty from pain” on her forearm where she has a few scars.  The scars remind her of a not so great choice she made last year and each time she looks at them, she told me, she thinks about what she did.  The scars were like tightly bound, rough ropes that kept her tethered to shame.  She would see them and berate herself all over again for cutting her arm in a moment of deep hurt and loneliness.  I think it did break one of those binding ropes when she told me about it, which she had put off doing for a while.  God was healing her one step at a time.

As she talked about it with me and how she wanted to replace those scars with a positive message, I told her that the scars are not all bad.  They will fade in time, but instead of bringing up shame or disgust with herself for something she feels was a mistake, they could remind her of all God has done for her and is doing right now to help her grow, heal her heart, and use her to encourage other people.  She has good scars.

I remembered back to 2003 when I was recovering from a mastectomy and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time without bandages.   Continue reading

Thank God, I’m not the One

“The Afters” sing a great song about how it’s a good thing we’re not God, we’re not the Savior of the world because we couldn’t do, wouldn’t do all that He does for mankind.  He shows mercy when we would just as soon write someone off for ticking us off.  He loves even when we turn our backs on Him, spit in His face in anger or shrug in apathy.  He forgives when we tend to hold grudges.  He gives second, third, fourth, fifteenth, and hundredth chances when we give up on people after a few offenses.

Thank God, I’m not the one!  The world would be in trouble with such a fickle, weak, limited deliverer.  There is a God and it’s not me.  Or you. Continue reading

Known

I’m thinking today about knowing others and being known.

I may know your face.  You look familiar.

I may know your name.

I may know about your family, your job, and where you live.

I may know what type of music or movies you like, or what books you read.

I may know what you’re good at doing.

I may know whether you like being with people or alone.

I may know what makes you angry, what makes you truly happy, and what matters most to you. Continue reading

You’ve been given a gift

You’ve been given a gift from God: to live one moment at a time.

You don’t have to know what’s ahead or plan out the path.  You don’t have to try to muster up the energy to live tomorrow, just live today.

God promised He would walk with you today, right now.  Just do that, walk with Him in this very moment.  Take His hand, be free.

He can see way down the road, even unto the end of your days and beyond.  You don’t have to.  You just take each happening, each minute, each encounter, each conversation, each thought, each challenge as they come.

There’s no need for “what will I say when I see that person?” or “How will that work out next week?” or Continue reading

Learning, learning

It always hurts – those times when God holds up His mirror to show me something in myself that isn’t part of who He made me to be.  I had a critical attitude about something/someone last week and then found myself Sunday doing the very thing I was critical about.

I heard God’s voice loud and clear, reminding me not to judge others, to be concerned with my own self, to be patient even when I don’t feel patient, and to always extend grace to other people because none of us is perfect.

I had to confess quietly, sitting on the piano bench at church, because the worship service was starting.  I was already pretty ashamed of myself.  Then, as it always seems to happen with God’s teaching and molding of me, the sermon happened to be about being crucified with Christ.  Of course.   Continue reading

I am, You are

Father God,

I’m clay, You are the potter
I’m a lantern, You are the fire
I’m finite and frail, You are everlasting
I’m easily blown about, You are a rock, immovable
I’m weak, You are powerful and strong
I’m prone to anxiety, You are peace, steady and unwavering

You are the origin of every thing, person, thought, emotion or idea

On my own I am lost, You found me
I was a spiritual orphan but You accepted and adopted me

I’m your child, You’re my Papa

I’m fickle, You are faithful
I’m so small, You are vast beyond comprehension

I get tired of thinking about who I am but love to ponder all that You are

You are love, and how I need Your love
You are the Artist to top all artists, creativity at Your core
You are beauty and altogether good
You are holy, pure, radiant – light with no hint darkness
You are compassion, hope, and promise
You are truth and justice

You are the Master Orchestrator, Architect, and Conductor of the whole universe
You are Creator, Savior, Mighty Conqueror, King
Counselor, Friend, Healer, Father

I see You, Father God, and bow down
I’m humbled and awed by You – there’s no other way to say it
The honor and privilege of living near You, in relationship with You, actually hand in hand with You is amazing and wonderful!

The miracle is that as we draw near You and keep close, Your radiance warms our hearts, melts our pride and burnishes away our imperfections.  We begin to look like You, to bear Your resemblance.  Day by day with You we are transformed!

I am Your smiling child, happy to just be with You.  You are my joy, my song, my Jesus, my God.  Help me to know You more.

I hope God’s not picky

That’s what a bumper sticker on the car in front of me this morning said.  My heart went out to whoever is thinking and/or wondering that.  Maybe it’s just to be funny but it also sounds like someone who wonders if they’re good enough to get God’s attention.  Is God picky?

If you read about Jesus in the Bible you can clearly see that as far as interacting with and accepting people Jesus was not picky.  In fact, according to some of the religious people of His day He wasn’t picky enough. Continue reading

Not just bread

I’ve only been fishing once but would love to learn and try it again sometime.  From what I understand fish pretty much think about one thing: eating.  That’s about the sum of their life, looking for food and eating it.  The problem is there are these humans who toss out lures on fishing lines that dangle and float in the water.  They look like food but inside is a hook that, unbeknownst to the fish, will ensnare it and begin reeling it in to become dinner.

There are lots of lures in this life:  things, people, entertainment, pastimes, hobbies, habits, and more that appear good on the outside but inside is a hook, a trap.  If we bite, it could little by little pull us away from God, from our true purpose, from real and fulfilling life.

I have to admit, I’ve been biting some.  Yesterday in church John brought a great message about Jesus being tempted by satan to turn stone into bread when he was famished and weak.  Jesus saw the hook in satan’s lure and didn’t bite.  Instead He answered back, “Man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from God’s mouth.” (Matthew 4:4)  Bread isn’t a bad thing, but if it were to become the priority over Jesus’ obedience to God and perseverance through testing, it would have pulled him away from his true purpose and mission.

I let busy stuff, facebook, the Internet, messing around, housework, yard work, texting or playing with my phone, and more distract me and fill my day.  Soon it’s time to go to bed and I’ve not cracked open my Bible or spent time just sitting with God in prayer.  I feel empty, restless and frustrated with myself.

God reminded me yesterday in church that I don’t have to bite, that I can resist with His help and stay close to Him.  I can be free and walk the path God has for me without getting pulled this way and that.

So, I’m giving up bread until Easter, just to practice discipline and to remind myself each time I want bread that I don’t live by that alone.  I live by the time I spend with God, by the love and grace He gives me, by my relationship with Him and nearness to Him.  He is my nourishment and sustaining life.  I can’t expect to walk in spiritual health if I only call on Him on Sundays or once a while in “microwave” prayer times.

Yep, it was only our third Sunday at church and the pastor’s wife went to the altar.  Hey, I can be as weak sometimes as the next person even though I don’t want to be.

Papa, remind me of true life, of your purpose for me.  Help me walk in it and walk closer to You.  I crave that more than any other earthly thing.

Just call me Martha

I imagine she was excited.  Hosting people was something she was quite good at, in fact took pride in.  Friends and family often remarked at her skill in cooking and making guests feel welcome.  Sure, it was a lot of work and took plenty of time preparing, cleaning, toiling away but it was worth it and besides, she’d usually assign her sister to some of the work.

Mary didn’t seem to share Martha’s “passion” for keeping a clean house and preparing delicious meals.  More than once Martha had to snap her fingers to wake Mary from a daydream so she’d get back to her tasks.  There were times she needed help and had to even leave the house to seek Mary out, finding her outside in the garden or sitting beneath a tree looking up at the blue sky.  It wasn’t that Mary was unwilling to help.  It’s just that Martha seemed to have more a little more drive.  She was a go-getter, a “doer.”

Life had taken an unusually happy turn when they met Jesus from Nazareth.  He and his friends joined them around their table more than once to enjoy Mary and Martha’s hospitality and to talk with their brother, Lazarus.  They became good friends.  Jesus seemed to enjoy having a home where he could stop in at times,  Continue reading

You are more

define (verb) – 1. to state precisely the meaning of   2. to describe the nature, properties, or essential qualities of   3. to determine the boundary of extent of

Now that it’s been over seven years since I was declared cancer-free, not as many of my current friends know I’m a breast cancer survivor.  It was a big, glaring part of my life in 2003 when I was diagnosed and for several years afterward but then began to fade from the forefront of my thoughts.

I received lots of thoughtful and encouraging notes and cards from friends during my recovery from surgery but one that still stands out in my mind was from a friend I hadn’t heard from in years.  This friend had also battled cancer so her words carried extra weight.  The phrase she wrote that stood out like neon lights was Continue reading