My husband and daughters bought me the most thoughtful gift for Christmas. They went above and beyond what we all agreed to do, chipped in and got me a set of Zumba DVDs because they know I love it so much. I hadn’t been able to go to class for several months. I’ve done a few of the workouts and they’re great, the guy who came up with it is one of the teachers and he’s a lot of fun. I’m really glad to have them because if I can’t go to class, I can still shake the blues and chub away in our own family room. Thanks to a surprise from a few of my Zumba buddies, I now have some free classes to use up so I went back this week, Tuesday and tonight. I have to admit that nothing beats dancing off calories with about 125 other women in a big room with really loud music and fun live teachers. Just being there with all of them energizes me. No one is a pro. Everyone is sweaty. We all want to have fun, get fit and burn fat. It’s awesome.
It got me thinking – that’s why I love church. Not for sweat and burning fat, but for the camaraderie, the energy from being with others who are after the same thing, who love the same God, who want to be healthy and whole not only in their bodies, but mind and soul. I’ve heard people say they don’t need church. Continue reading →
Someday you’ll understand how much I mean it when I say that when you’re happy, I’m really happy and when you hurt, I hurt. It’s because I love you so much, more than I could ever make you understand. But someday when you’re a mom and you have to stand by and watch your child learn through hurt, you’ll know what I mean.
I think of the time your daddy had to stand by and watch you get stitches in your lip. You didn’t cry much but it wasn’t easy for him to do. He knew it was for your good so he stood by. He didn’t get in the way of the doctor or try to prevent it from happening.
I remember the heartbreaking time I had to hold you with both arms on my lap while you squirmed and screamed, as a nurse drew your blood for an important test. Of course you didn’t understand since you were so young, but I had to because it was going to help you.
You know how it was when we used to plant flowers in front of the house and then water them really well. Sometimes they were so small and fragile that the water pouring down seemed to flatten them. However, the next day, Continue reading →
I think just about everyone has a story about getting lost. The scariest and most memorable for our family happened when we lived in New Mexico. We had taken the girls to the mall and were hanging out a little while in “Tilt”, an arcade. The girls must have been 2, 4 and 5. The arcade was one of those that was the size of a store and rather dark filled with all kinds of video games, skeeball, basketball, riding games, etc. Winning tickets was the goal so we split up and took the girls around to try different games. I don’t know how or when it happened, but I thought John had Kristine and he thought I had her. After watching Kimmi play a whack-a-mole game I looked to see where Kristine was. She wasn’t with us so I looked down the way to where John and Kaitlin were playing. I didn’t see her there either. I called out to John and sure enough, he didn’t have her. I began to panic. We started calling out her name and rushing around the arcade, looking behind and around all the games, asking anyone we saw if they had seen our little girl. No one had. The staff hadn’t seen her but said they’d call security. All of the sudden nothing mattered but finding her. I didn’t care who heard me shouting her name or saw me racing around trying to find her. Then John said, “I’m going out into the mall to see if I can find her. You stay here.” So Kimmi, Kaitlin and I knelt down right there in the arcade and prayed. “God, please. Please. Don’t let anything happen to Kristine. Please help John know where to go. Please help us find her!” I couldn’t even cry I was so scared, Continue reading →
I sat there listening to her sing her heart in phrases and heard God talk to me, as well, “I’m showing you again that I have the power to influence this young lady’s heart. I made her, you know. I have planted more in her than you could dream of or design. As precious as you are to me, you are not the author of this young one’s soul and faith. I Am.”
Thank you, God, and forgive me for doubting, worrying or trying to orchestrate. Thank you for hearing my deepest heart prayers for her (and for all my daughters) – that You would draw her near, that You would comfort her and give her the strength to surrender to you. You can handle the angry cries, the stubborn thoughts, the questions and more. You keep painting beauty over those things and then giving me glimpses of this tough and tender work of art that is my daughter.
How I’ve underestimated all my girls at times, in many ways. Don’t let me do it any more. Why would I think they are any less complicated, any less deep thinkers and ponderers, any less in tune with God than I am? Why would I not think You talk to them the way You do me, that You relish every moment they sit with you, read Your word, sing songs to You? I’m simply a few years farther down the path, but we’re on the same path following You, “I Am”, our incredible Savior and Creator.
We harmonized together on some familiar tunes and I was drawn into worship as I sat in sleepy comfort. You were sitting right there, Jesus. The only thing I can do is bow down in my heart, my thankful, peace-filled, humbled heart.
This song will hold more meaning for me from now on:
You stood before creation Eternity in your hand You spoke the earth into motion My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure And carried the cross for my shame My sin weighed upon your shoulders My soul now to stand
So what could I say? And what could I do? But offer this heart, Oh God Completely to you
So I’ll walk upon salvation Your spirit alive in me This life to declare your promise My soul now to stand
Getting healthier after some turmoil last year when pastor left.Facility is really nice and new.Upward basketball – 200+ kids.Pretty good sense of mission, awareness of the need to be missional.Recently changed to a governance leadership structure – significant tool for next pastor.
Still some unresolved longstanding, systemic unhealthy conflict. Mortgage – income that comes in with which they pay the mortgage is usually about $4000 a month short.They use cash reserves right now from the sale of their old building to pay the shortfall but that won’t last forever.Still some division from the conflict last year that is healing but isn’t over.
I believe in pressing forward and in living in this day but once in a while it’s good to take a quick look back to see how far we’ve come and remember what we learned. A friend of mine said today that looking toward this new year is like throwing out a fishing line, we wait and watch to see what we’ll reel in, not knowing, but hoping. I joked that it’s probably good we can’t see all that we’re going to “reel in” this coming year and that I’m glad Jesus is there to help us if we have to pull in something really heavy or menacing. Today I’ve been thinking some about the lessons I caught in 2010. Some of them were whoppers: Continue reading →
My youngest says I tweet too much but hey, that’s what twitter is for right? And there are plenty of people who tweet more often than I do. So I told her, “If you don’t want to read all my tweets then just don’t follow me anymore” to which she replied, “Okay, I won’t”. Well, fine. I follow several pastors and other bloggers that offer food for thought, encouraging words, and more. I also follow people like Conan O’Brien and Jim Gaffigan, not quite as edifying but good for some laughs. It’s fun.
One of the tweeters I follow is called “ChatBible” from the UK. He tweeted today about new beginnings, which only seems fitting since it’s the start of the new year: Noah (Gen 9) Ruth (Ruth 1) Peter (Jn 21) and Paul (Acts 9). Which brings most hope…& why?Continue reading →
Do you ever feel afraid when you think about going to heaven? That’s a weird question, I know. I woke this morning thinking not so much about heaven exactly, as about eternity, about what happens when we die, about what it could be like to be somewhere forever…and ever. It may seem crazy to you but whenever I start thinking about that I begin to feel anxious. I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s something my mind can’t grasp or understand. After all, I have no frame of reference. Everything in my life, and in this world, has a beginning and end. I was conceived and began as a cluster of cells multiplying and growing (a pretty huge miracle in itself). When my time has come, I will die and my heart will stop beating, my brain stop processing and thinking, and my physical body will give out. Each day has a beginning (the sun comes up) and an end (the sun goes down and the moon and stars appear). I wake and sleep. There are physical boundaries to my home, my town, my country, and my world. Once into space, however, it starts to become mind-boggling since there is no edge to the universe. Where does it end, if it ends and if it does, what’s on the outside of it? OH! I tell myself to just stop thinking about it, to stop trying to comprehend how it could be. The truth is, there is no way we can see the edge or end of the universe, and from what I’ve heard it keeps spreading, so infinity seems to be reality.
If you’re still reading this rambling post, bully for you! Continue reading →
3 days ’til Christmas…if you have children in your house I’m sure they have made you aware of this and are counting down the days and even hours until Christmas morning. Many of them will be so excited to see the surprises waiting for them under the tree that they won’t be able to sleep the night before. Gifts have been a big part of celebrating Christmas for centuries.
Did that start because of the gifts the wise men gave Jesus, Mary and Joseph when they finally arrived? Did the tradition become more pronounced because of the original Saint Nicholas who gave anonymous gifts to needy people by dropping small bags of coins or other treasures down their chimneys? It actually was started by God, the original and best gift giver of all time. He offered His Son, out of love, and continues to give good gifts to his children. He is the most generous, creative, and recklessly lavish giver.
Imagine your boss left gifts for you and all your co-workers – hefty cash bonuses for a year’s work well done. Imagine that you hadn’t gotten the memo Continue reading →
When Mary accepted the task given her by God and realized she was indeed pregnant, she hastily decided to make a trip to see her cousin Elizabeth. She heard, as crazy as it sounded and improbable as it was, that Elizabeth herself was expecting a child! Maybe part of the reason for her trip was to see if that impossible news was actually true. If it was true, maybe that would help her accept that what was happening inside of her wasn’t just a dream or her imagination. She had to also be thinking that getting away for a little while was a good idea. It would give her time to figure out how she was going to break the news to Joseph. Perhaps she and Elizabeth had a close relationship, so she felt comfortable choosing that home for her get away.
No sooner had she walked into the house but Elizabeth stood to her feet, Continue reading →
My parents were celebrated Sunday by the church they’ve pastored for the last six years. They’re retiring not only from that pastorate but from more than 43 years of ministry all over the place. It was a special day and as I watched and listened to what people shared and thought about how God has used them throughout all that time I was thankful, amazed and proud. It was no rose-lined path they walked even though there definitely were beautiful places here and there. They have faced their share of trouble, as we all do. My dad sank into a deep depression and burnout when I was about 21. He took some time away and returned ready to share some of the issues he was wrestling with, including expectations others had for his life. His parents, my grandparents, were missionaries and somehow while growing up my dad perceived there is a hierarchy of servants when it comes to ministry for Jesus. If you’re committed to Christ you’ll serve in a church, if you’re extra committed you’ll be a pastor, and if you’re über committed Continue reading →
Along the Narrow Path 