WTDWYDKWTD #4

While cleaning out files I paused to look through one I had long ago labeled “correspondence.”  In it, I’ve saved a copy of just about every Christmas letter we’ve sent out as well as some stationery and postcards yet to be used, and a few notes that were evidently “save-worthy”.  I leafed through the letters and smiled (sometimes laughed) to myself as I read them – the scenes replaying in my mind of the years gone by with our girls, from babyhood to the teenage years.  I then pulled out a letter-sized envelope addressed to us when we lived in New Mexico, our first pastorate.  It was from our dear friend, Gil Stafford, professor at the seminary where John attended.  I had the blessed opportunity to work for him for a short while when I was secretary for CBH, the Church of God radio program of which he was speaker.  I would go to his office at the seminary once a month, take letters, go over business, then visit with him.  He never made me feel like I needed to hurry away and soon became someone I would open my heart to and ask questions of, even pray with.  He had so much wisdom and love for God and the Bible, was cheerful and kind every time.  I’ve heard that the word “enthusiastic” comes from the Greek words “en theos” which mean “”in God” or “God within.”  Gil was definitely enthusiastic.

staffordimageOver the two years we worked together he became a really good friend.  He and his wife Darlene, kind of adopted John and I with our three little girls.  One night they had us over for dinner.  We enjoyed a delicious meal and then while John and Gil chatted in the front room, Darlene took the girls and I into the den where snuggled down into comfy chairs and on the floor to watch figure skating and eat popcorn.  It was such a lovely night.   I’ll never forget the last day I went to see him as his secretary. Continue reading

WTDWYDKWTD #3

“The godly offer good counsel…”  Psalm 37:30

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume…”  Proverbs 27:9

If you know me at all, you know that when something is on my mind I need to talk about it…a lot.  I have times of quiet, to be sure, when I need to pray and think, but I also need to process my thoughts by talking with someone.  I think everyone is like that to a certain extent.   My husband is my absolute best friend and partner, but sometimes I need to talk to someone a little more outside the situation – someone who hopefully can be objective.

There’s wisdom in seeking out a godly friend to listen and give feedback when you’re not sure what to do.  Be sure to choose your listener/adviser/counsel wisely.  (Whenever I say “choose wisely” I think of the 3rd Indiana Jones movie scene when the bad guy chose the wrong holy chalice and got his face melted off.  Please…choose wisely!)  It doesn’t make sense to ask just anyone what I should do or what they think, if they don’t believe the same things I do.  For instance, if I shared a story about someone who had hurt me with a non-believing friend, they might advise me to just ignore that person from now on or even take revenge somehow.  Continue reading

WTDWYDKWTD #2

When I was in the sixth grade, my dad pastored a church in Lake Wales, Florida.  One Saturday there was supposed to be a work day so my brother, sister and I got our old clothes on and got ready to go help out at the church.  That was the plan.  My parents piled us in the big, light green, Chevy impala we owned and started off down the road.   Dad drove right past the church.  We looked at each other and asked him what was up.  He said we were going to McDonald’s first for breakfast.  Cool!

mcdonalds_cropped_by_daquella_maneraHe drove by the McDonald’s.  What?  Jodi, Jon and I looked at each other again and asked him, “Dad, where are you going?”

“Oh, there’s another McDonald’s down the road a ways.”

“Okay,” we thought, puzzled.

Dad passed the next McDonald’s.  Okay, something is weird here!  “Dad, we’re going to be late for the work day!” we cried, “We’re way down the road now.”

He smiled and said, “There’s another McDonald’s a little farther on.”  In fact he and mom started singing a silly impromptu song, “Ohhhhhh there’s a McDonald’s in Lake Wales, there’s a McDonald’s in Winter Haven…”  We realized our parents had officially lost it.  Continue reading

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do #1

I did it again.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  For months I’ve been praying for my church to grow and for my faith to grow.  I’m telling you, when you pray for growth, patience, or humility you’re asking for it.

I’ve been praying God would do radical surgery on my heart and my hubby’s heart and the hearts of all the people in our church family – that we would develop driving, burning, enduring concern and love for people who are lost and without Jesus.  I’ve prayed that He would direct us and show us answers.  What should we do?

We want to do what pleases you, God.  We want to be more like You…but how do we do that?

Well God’s shaking up our world.  I know He’s been answering my prayers even before evidence started bubbling above the surface this past weekend.  At one point on Sunday it washed completely over me:  God is going to do something life-changing, something BIG, something we didn’t expect, something that will challenge us beyond what we’ve experienced before.  Along with that wave of “revelation” came a huge sense of dread.  My stomach felt as if it was being wrung out like a wet washcloth.

Do we have it in us to do what you’re asking, God?  I looked across the sanctuary to where my husband sat.  The whole “spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” truth was about to knock me over. Continue reading

More than anything…or anyone.

There are those moments when faith claims you’ve made seem to fly up in front of you and you have the choice to act and prove they’re true or recant.  One moment I recall this happening for me was when I got my cancer diagnosis.  All of the sudden all the claims I had made about always trusting God, His constant presence, and believing in healing sprung up in front of me and I had to decide whether or not I would put feet to my faith, the good ol’ “rubber meets the road” cliche.   All I could do was try.  Put one foot in front of the other and see if God was there.  He was.

Another instance that comes to mind was the passing of my grandmother almost two years ago.  I have always believed in heaven and eternal life with Jesus, but all of the sudden her death triggered a time to re-think and decide if I really believe it.  Do I really believe that she’s there now?  Do I really believe that I’ll see her there, that we’ll live forever?   I’m choosing to believe what Jesus said…that if we trust in Him we’ll live with him, even though our bodies here die.  If anyone trusted Jesus, my grandmother was front in line.   Continue reading

Look in the mirror. Own up to what you see.

If I want my doctor to help me with something, I have to tell her what’s wrong.  I have to reveal things about myself that might not be so pretty.  If I want a counselor to assist me in regaining wholeness, I have to be gut honest about myself, my family, my past, whatever, in order for him/her to get to the root of the problem and show me how to resolve it.  Without a willingness to be fully open or totally honest, I’ll just be getting band-aid solutions that don’t fully get rid of the real problem.  The symptoms might go away for a while but they’ll be back, and maybe even more ferociously than before.

It’s not easy.  Probably the biggest obstacle is my pride.  Why would I want to show someone else something ugly or flawed about myself?  How embarrassing.  What will they think?   How will I feel about myself?   Who wants to admit a glaring weakness to someone else and show that I don’t have it all together?  I might even appear hypocritical.

This weekend our church is a part of a consultation to help us evaluate ourselves and grow.  One step toward growth, integrity, and becoming more like Jesus is being willing to see truthfully who we are and/or what we have become, admit it is true and be ready to submit to God’s molding, reshaping, and pruning.  It’s as if He’s holding up his big supernatural mirror and we’re seeing the big picture like we haven’t before.  John and I met with the consultation team last night.  Before we went in I felt a little like I did back in school days thinking I had to see the principal. Continue reading

No whiner babies allowed, including me

complainingcom-plain [kuhm-pleyn]
to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault

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I called my daughter on the carpet last night and confronted her about a complaining attitude, only to have God gently poke me on the shoulder this morning and tell me to heed my own words.  Ow.

My daughter’s not so thrilled with her part-time job and says something about it just about every time she’s about to go there and work.  This week it was getting old to me.  I told her if she was that unhappy with it to just quit, but that she also wouldn’t have a job, or an income, or gas money, or spending money.  I reminded her that there are many less-appealing jobs she could have and to be thankful.  She knows all this stuff but I felt a reminder was in order.

I was thinking more about it as John and I finished our jog/walk this morning in quietness, as the dark blue sky began to lighten and the twinkling stars began to fade out of sight.  The Bible tells us that every good thing comes from God, the Father of light, who never changes like shifting shadows do.  What He gives is good!   So, when my daughter complains about her job, in a way she’s saying, “I don’t like your gift,” or “it’s not good enough” or “I wish you had given me something different.”  We wouldn’t say that to a friend or someone in our family who had just given us a gift – it would be hurtful and ungrateful.  When we complain – an ungrateful attitude is lurking and showing itself.

I looked up the word complain on dictionary.com and found it interesting that the first definition is to “express dissatisfaction.”  Continue reading

The Blahs vs Mimi

POTM_2008_03WinterBlahsThe last few nights I’ve slept restlessly.  I don’t know if it’s because our mattress is on the floor right now (we threw out our box springs in the bed bug fiasco this summer), if I’m thinking about a lot of things, or what.

I think it’s the latter of those:  lots of things on my mind.  Maybe if I type them out I’ll feel better.  Sure – why not unload them on you?  Just kidding.  If you don’t mind “listening” here goes:

Almost two years ago when we moved into our townhouse we were following the Dave Ramsey plan religiously.  It was hard but we actually had “financial peace” because we were saving little bits for the things ahead, we were using cash for purchases and basically living within our means.  Well we gradually floated away from those strict guidelines and so now are scrambling to get back to that financially peaceful state.  Pile on a few more expenses and concerns and the trip back is becoming a little more taxing and stressful for me.  Kimmi’s going to college next week, our short-term tenants are moving out of our Hazelwood house next week, we’ve had those unexpected repairs and other expenses that always turn up so now the savings is back to square one (zero), and it goes on.  This is not unlike so many others, though, I know that!  I also know God’s always provided for us.  Why is it, then, that in the meantime I allow myself to get so anxious?  I’m not trusting fully today.  I’m also kicking myself for not sticking with the plan – we would be better off at this point.  The guilt is pretty heavy – as this is a subject I struggle with all the time!

It’s just one of those days – I feel emotional and quiet.  Quiet is okay.  Emotions are okay but I am asking God to settle me down.  I want His amazing peace, like a hot towel fresh out of the dryer wrapped around me to ease the chill of guilt, pressure, and uncertainty.  I remember one of my life verses in Philippians 4 and recall the well-known and wonderful advice from Paul to lay my needs before God, be thankful, and know He’ll take care of me and my family.  Oh – and rejoicing.  How do you rejoice when you feel down and emotional?  That’s a puzzler.  If I intentionally think about how good God is, how He blesses, try to think above earthly/material things and rise up to an eternal perspective it gets easier.  Rejoicing doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re jumping up and down with a big smile on your face like a middle school cheerleader.  The word rejoice means “to be glad about”.  I can be glad in many things and remember that even if all I had – ALL I had – was God, I would have enough and I could be glad.  Well I DO have God!  I have more than enough in my life…and I AM glad.

Thanks for “listening”.

I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.   Psalm 16:8-9  NLT

Step Back

Some thoughts from the last few days:

What if every morning I just prayed and said to God, “I’m stepping back, God.  You’re in charge of my schedule, my encounters with other people, my words, my behavior, my safety or lack thereof, my thoughts, everything.”  What amazing things would I experience?  What freedom!  I know I still have plans and schedules, but to release it all to God first thing and remember that His plans are best.  Those are the ones I want.

My sis and I were “talking” through email about this and she had these wise words for me, “Jesus just moved through his day and touched and taught as he went along.  …He was on his way to heal a man’s sick (actually dead) daughter and the sick woman touched his robe.  He stopped briefly and she was healed (ok, her life was changed and it took him like 2 seconds) and then he went on where he was going!  He just allowed life to happen and he worked in the situations that presented themselves.  For whatever reason, ok the Holy Spirit, it was suddenly so clear to me that with Jesus as our example, that is what God wants us to do, too.”

to doSo true!  We tend to be goal-oriented, task-driven people focused on the end of the race as our goal when our goal should really be all the stuff in between, the day to day running, the pressing on, the scenery along that day’s path, the little moments when we see our big God at work in and through us.

I’m going to pray as I walk/jog in the mornings that God will let me relax back into all that He is and just be carried along through the day by Him.  Total trust.  Total surrender.  Total peace, too.  I’m going to just step back.

We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps.   Proverbs 16:9

Re: Ta-tas and such

WARNING TO MALE READERS:  This post contains much estrogen-saturated material and may not be suitable for the male Psyche.  At the very least, a male reader may experience the WTMI (way too much information) effect after only a few lines.  Hey, I warned you.

A blog is for my thoughts and feelings, right?  And hey, this is my blog, so I’m going to blog about some personal stuff because it’s been on my mind so much the last few days.

It’s amazing how our self-image can be so tied up with our bodies.  I was born a “big-boned” girl and at the ripe old age of 9 months had rolls on my thighs that could cut off my parents’ finger circulation as they tried to change my diapers.  Puberty gave the thighs a come-back and I’ve been less than thrilled about the lower half of my body every since.  My sister and I used to joke that it would sure be nice if you could suck in your thighs like you suck in your belly.

I’ve heard there are two basic body shapes:  apples and pears.  I don’t know who came up with the fruit idea but it kind of makes sense if you look around you.  Apples have thin little legs, but tend to gain weight on top, either having round bellies or big chests.  Pears, like me, tend to be smaller on top but gain weight/hold weight in the lower half of the body more.  Invariably when I exercised more and watched what I ate more, my chest was the first to go.  Of all places I was NOT heavily endowed that was it, so the injustice stung all the more.   AND after breastfeeding all three of my girls, which I am so glad I did, what little I had became like deflated balloons or little empty tube socks.  I’m just sayin’.   Continue reading